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viewsIMHO
By Jessica.M, Saturday, July 11, 2009, 8 commentsHow do I go about petitioning the whole universe? I'm curious, because I'd like us all to agree to stop stating "I think" before stating an opinion. Admittedly, if I could petition the whole universe, this perverse use of "I think" would probably be somewhere below women's equality and nuclear disarmament, but it might possibly be third on the list.
From a verbal precision standpoint there is absolutely no need to add the words "I think" before stating your own opinion; the fact that the words are coming out of your mouth and they don't convey actual facts (perhaps with citations), implies that it is something that you "think", "believe", or espouse i.e. it's your opinion and we get that. To state "I think" is completely redundant and unnecessary (notice the redundancy in that sentence).
I have noticed that women say "I think" more than men. My feminist-spidersense tells me that this is to ensure that men are not made nervous by our opinions; adding the words "I think" as a preface to an opinion is like saying "Ok, hold onto your hats, Ladies and Gents (mostly gents, the women folk can probably handle this), I'm about to step out of line and have an independent thought, but you don't need to feel threatened, it really is just an opinion." Thus, there is no need to state "in my opinion", "I think", "I believe" or anything to such effect as to convey that it is, indeed, only what you believe and not to be taken too seriously.
Since I am a fallable human-person, it is entirely possible that I may slip in an accidental-"I think", but like other verbal crutches (such as certain derogatory terms, or ums and ahs) it is an on-going battle and I will succeed in breaking this bad habit.
So, universe, after agreeing on women's equality and nuclear disarmament, could we get on this?
**Since posting on Saturday, I realized there may be some of you out there wondering what the acceptable uses of "I think" are.
I will go ahead and amend what I was saying.
There are acceptable uses of the phrase "I think". Specifically, to state that you think or think about something, e.g. "I think, therefore I am." Also, I will grudgingly accept that it's ok to use "I think" to convey uncertainty, as in "I think I will leave at 9:00." Unless you are uncertain of all of your opinions, please refrain from using this phrase before stating opinions.
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8 Comments
How about the word "Like"
like, yeah
Jessica.M
Subtleties of communication
"I think" that the phrase is used to soften a statement and is quite effective in situations where there may be tensions in a group. For instance, if someone were to say "You should do this...", then they would likely be seen as being too forceful or perhaps even hostile or arrogant. If they instead said "I think you should do this...", then it has a much softer feel and would tend to ease tensions, particularly if one were to be leading or participating in a group with differing agendas/ideals. Such subtleties in communication can mean the difference between success and failure in a venture. I'm sure you'll learn this as you become more experienced in life. Best regards... Margie.
patriarchy, shmatriachy
Margie, Feel free to share this stand point with all the men you encounter. Surely, many men could use this sage advice from your decades of life experience, which I lack. Please tell them to preface all opinions with the phrases "I think", "I feel", "In my opinion", "In my humble opinion" or "I really don't know anything about this subject, but I think that" Thanks for the condescension.
Love,
Jessica.M
PS
You can always refrain from expressing your unwelcomed opinion. Most people will let you know when they want your advice by asking a question to the effect of "What should I do?" or "What do you think?" Thus eliminating any need to preface your point of view with a "I think" statement.
Just a little something I have learned from my numerous years of experience.
Jessica.M
Feeling a little hostile?
Wow, Jessie... perhaps you were having a bad day. Such hostility... I hope you're feeling better today.
In response to your first comment about sharing "this stand point with all the men you encounter" - the technique I described comes from most every handbook on basic diplomatic communication. I don't know offhand but I suspect most are written by men.
I find it interesting that in the following part of your rant - "Please tell them to preface all opinions with the phrases "I think", "I feel", "In my opinion", "In my humble opinion" or "I really don't know anything about this subject, but I think that" Thanks for the condescension." - you use the phrase "In my humble opinion" as a negative way to begin a sentence. Yet that is the title of your blog for the day. Or does "IMHO" mean something else?
Lastly, I though this was a public forum open to all. I was unaware that my comments are unwelcome here. Perhaps you could enlighten me as to what constitutes a "welcome comment"? Would that be a comment that only supports your opinion? Are all comments contrary to your opinion unwelcome? My originial comment was only pointing out that the phrase "I think" has a useful purpose and falls under the category of "diplomatic communication". I'm very surprised at your overly negative reaction. I expected you would be more open minded.
Best... Margie
Irony being what it is
Women's opinions are just as valid as men's and we don't need to constantly state "I think" as we are conditioned to do (and my original premise was that women are conditioned to understand that all of our opinions are offensive because we're not supposed to have independent thought or should demur to the much more worthy opinions of our male counterparts). It is redundant to state that something that is clearly your opinion is something you "think".
My statement was that rather than giving people your opinions prefaced with I think in order to not "offend" or because it might be a tense situation(the scenario you described in your original comment) is that you may choose to actually not share your opinion or your advice when it hasn't been solicited (I wasn't referring to this forum), apologies for implying that your point of view is unwelcomed on this forum (and I mean that sincerely). I can totally concede that there may be times when softening your statements is worthwhile, but not with every opinion you share. These same leadership books also talk about the importance of empathic listening (since I have actually read a ton of books on leadership and communication). Being willing to listen is valued much higher than waiting for your turn to state your opinion, even if prefaced with "I think".
IMHO does mean "In my humble opinion". The use of it as the title of the blog is meant to be ironic, I can see how that was confusing.
It is highly condescending to say that someone will eventually see it your way once they have more life experience. Speaking of condescension, I am not in a bad mood, I am also not pms'ing or on my period; I don't have to be in a bad mood to stick to my original premise.
BTW, since this falls into "Jessica's pet peeves" list: it's Jessica, not Jessie, unless you are an 83 year old woman from S. Carolina (with whom I share 1/4 of my DNA) please refrain from calling me that. If it turns out that we end up as BFF's or just F's, you may call me Jess.
BTW
Jessica.M
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