Life's Unexpected Moments

In an attempt to find out if my gallbladder is functioning correctly, I was sent for an ultrasound, then a CT scan, then a Hida Scan. I knew about a growth which was called a hemangioma on my spleen six years ago.  I was told by a couple of doctors there was no concern and we would check it periodically.  Well....during the tests from the ultrasound, I noticed the tech spent a long time on the spleen area and she asked me about the growth/mass, etc.  I explained it was a hemangioma which she read from my chart. She continued to ask questions about how long it had been since my last CT.  I told her a year but that was from looking at my bladder.  The next thing I know is the medical assistant calls to tell me that I need another CT because it appears the hemangioma is not a hemangioma but a 'mass'.  It has grown and needs to be evaluated.  My legs went weak but thought it just appears like it's grown and they are wrong.  They are wrong all the time!  After all they are just people trying to figure out stuff just like us.

The next thing is she calls me to tell me I am being referred to a surgeon.  I'm like, what?  She said since it's appearance is hyperechoic and dense as well as larger, I must talk to a surgeon about the best solution.  I met with the surgeon and he gave me two options. Have a biopsy or have the spleen removed. Of course my first thought is to have the biopsy, after all, I'd like to keep my little spleen to fight off infections. Unfortunately, the biopsy is higher risk.  I have prayed, talked to friends, colleagues, medical friends and researched till I'm about fried. I have decided the best course of action is to have the spleen removed.  The risk is less and you are given vaccines for the three major things you could get without the spleen (pneumonia, meningitis and something else).

After the surgery, the mass will be tested to determine if it's cancer. It could be several things that are conducive to the enlargement of the spleen.  Typically, there is an underlying cause.  I just pray that the cause is not the big "C".

I'm writing this blog about this experience to get feedback.  Maybe you know someone who had their spleen removed?  How have they done?  Any issues? 

We face such unexpected moments in our lives. I am full of anger, outrage and emotion but also a sense of calm.  This surgeon is excellent and I'm lucky that I have a friend who turns out that she works with him in the O.R.  The anger because why wasn't I told this six years ago?  Who made the mistake?  Why?  How?  I get sick easily enough as it is, I don't want to lose my spleen and get sicker, although the doctor said I wouldn't. Outraged that I was misdiagnosed.  Outraged that along with this I have swollen lymph nodes (also conducive to Herpes that I have).  Emotional...naturally.  I am not ready to leave this earth as a human.  I want to be a grandmother.  I want to do things like write, publish my writing, win photography contests and just LIVE!

I am an optimistic person by nature, although I wasn't when I was younger.  I would say things like, "Oh, it's just my luck."  I learned long ago that this is not cool.  I no longer say that and haven't for a very long time.  Life happens.  We never know what tomorrow will bring.

So, I move forward with great optimism, stay in the now by being mindful and create knowledge for myself about the situation. 

So, with all of these 'lemons', I'm gonna make lots of lemonade.