Gotta be Me

My husband is bugging me to get a job. Every time I get on the computer and I'm not actively looking for work he acts like I NEVER look for work. Never mind the fact that I have all kinds of job alerts set up, so all of the places I know to look already email me open jobs. Never mind that I have other stuff (volunteer stuff for the kids' school and my book) I'm doing on the computer. If I'm not looking for work then I'm goofing around and trying not to get a job. To tell you the truth, I'm so depressed about my job prospects that I think in my heart I have given up. Not forever, just until I start seeing viable job openings doing what I want to do and paying enough that it will offset childcare costs.

I would rather be writing. I'm up to 42,000+ words on my book and haven't run out of steam yet. I have a plot in my head and a compulsion to write. So here's my dilemma- do I put what's in my heart aside and focus my whole attention on finding a job, or do I tell my husband where to get off and keep working on my book until I finish it? Unlike most of what I write, I know this book is good. I have a friend who's reading for me, in bits & pieces because she won't wait until the whole thing is done, and she says that it's really good. I'm actually loving what I'm writing. I want to write, but I don't want a constantly angry husband either. This stupid book is putting a real strain on my marriage, and I don't know if this is a dream that will never see the light of day beyond my own computer. I'm not sure what to do about it. My heart says book, but my husband says job, and I don't know who to listen to.