The age of anti-aging

I feel ridiculous, but this summer I reached that critical turning point in my life where you go from just applying minimal moisturizer, when you remember it, to a rigorous routine of a daily spf-15/anti-aging moisturizer, moisturizing body wash and lotion, and this week I added an under-eye anti-wrinkle cream.

It's ridiculous. I'm 27 years old.

But I spent a lot of time in the sun this summer, and turning 27 in July really kind of scared the crap out of me.

Why?

Because I'm getting to that point in my life where I'm ready for things to start falling into place - life, work, love, etc. And at the time of my birthday I was dating a guy three years younger, and while my face and body are still that of a young 20-something (and actually I look better than I did in high school), the impending doom I felt about being a young 30-something + in a few years was too much and I started being stricter with the sun screen, moisturizer, putting in those extra miles on the run, really watching those calories etc., BECAUSE I DON'T WANNA GET OLD!! And I certainly don't want to "age" before I can get some important shit done and off my list.

I know it's innevitable, though, aging, and since I can't stop the aging process, I'm now obsessed with at least slowing it down and mastering it with style and grace.

I honestly don't know why I'm so panicked.

My mom and her sisters have all aged beautifully. And my aunts on my father's side, and my father, and my 100-year-old grandfather have all aged masterfully as well despite years of smoking and not being so great on their bodies. They turned things around in their mid 40s, which has likely helped.

So why the panic?

I don't know.

I guess as I still struggle to really find my niche in my career field, and find some sort of balance for my personal and professional life, my body is one thing I have a tiny bit of control over.

I can't control the fact that my boss won't give me a raise or consider me for an editor's position, (sure I can start the job hunt, which I have) but I can control how many miles I run this week, how much moisturizer I use, the kind of food I eat, etc.

I can't control how every romantic relationship I've had in the last year has been almost disastrous, (I can just keep dating and hope one of them turns out OK) but I can wake up every day feeling great about myself, my body, my clean house, my happy puppies, how good my hair looks, etc., and try and make the best out of each day.

Is it shallow? Sure, maybe a little bit. But I feel like when you can be happy about the face staring back at you in the mirror, even on a really bad day, you're a tiny step ahead of the game and are more likely to get through the day without a little breakdown, because the worst feeling is when you feel like shit, work is shitty, you're single and you feel fat and gross. At least if you're having a bad day you can go, "well, at least I look cute!"

Anti-aging creams may be a fruitless endeavor and waste of money - BUT, when we have so little control over life and the normal ups and downs, it's nice to think that maybe that little jar of cream I bought is going to reduce the under eye bags I sometimes get after a rough week and slow any progression of wrinkles that may have been caused by time spent in the sun.

These anti-aging creams won't actually prevent me from aging, I know that - but they'll let me at least think I'm doing something to slow it down a little bit so that even if my life timeline for work and love are off, at least I'll look like things are right on target.