Learning How to Drive in the Cemetery

            Cemeteries usually aren’t a destination spot unless you are the one being buried. In fact, the last time I visited a Jewish cemetery was in Pittsburgh when I first learned to drive. My parents knew that I couldn’t kill the already deceased. How comforting. But this past Tuesday, our Rabbi took us out of the classroom and in to the Hebrew Cemetery of Charlotte to learn about death and to give us a proper send off into Halloween.

            Although gallivanting through a cemetery at 5:30pm may not be everyone’s cup of tea, the resting place of the dead has never bothered me. Sure, we’ve all seen Pet Cemetery and the countless other horror flicks that use the graveyard as a haunting setting. But if you set aside the stigma that Hollywood has attached to cemeteries, you may find that they are some of the most peaceful and beautiful places on the Earth.

            The Rabbi began our tour by discussing the basic differences between Christian and Jewish cemeteries. Jewish cemeteries are clearly demarcated. The Hebrew Cemetery, housing the dead since 1867, boasts a sturdy fence marking its borders. Family plots have their own borders clearly separating their land from other individuals. Another difference is the greenery. Jews in the United States do not believe in leaving flowers for the dead since a flower’s existence is only temporary. Instead, they leave a stone on the tombstone showing that they have visited and knowing that a stone is more permanent than a wilting rose. Furthermore, you will not find mausoleums in a Jewish cemetery as they do not cremate the dead. The body is to return to the ground in the same form it was created. While we bury our dead in coffins, the people of Israel wrap the bodies in prayer shawls and place them directly into the ground.

            The wind picked up, and the Rabbi’s voice trailed off in another direction. The sun started to set, and the sky turned a light pink probably due to the tornadoes around the area. I wandered off and looked at the tombstones, and in a fit of morbid narcissism, I thought about what my grave would look like. Graves for women usually had a lamp or a candle symbolizing the light that they bring, while other graves of war heroes were featured flags and other decorations. A man that owned a peach orchard had a grave with a rod iron peach tree emerging from the top. Sayings and biblical verse were etched into marble while other tombstones were plain simply recording the person’s name and dates. So what do you want on your tombstone?

            The sun continued to set, and the fall leaves started blowing towards us. And while the world around us was moving about rapidly, I felt very still and at ease. Perhaps visiting the land of the dead was a reminder that we are still here and although death is inevitable, our final resting place is peaceful and not creepy like those portrayed in Halloween films.

            Learning about death and visiting a cemetery may have been fitting for this past week as one of our favorite employees at the JCC was killed. “Willie” as we all knew him served the JCC as a janitor, and those of us who opened early and stayed late got to know him quite well. Willie worked hard day in and day out. He never complained, and the only thing he asked for was to break a $10 or a $20 so he could grab a soda on his break or pay his bus fare. His sudden death has brought sadness to us all. We won’t find him in the halls of the JCC or on the main floor of the fitness center, but we will remember him. And although Willie was not Jewish and therefore, will not rest in the Hebrew Cemetery, he will be buried and pass on peacefully. Perhaps, when we visit his grave we will discover the same calm our class did this past Tuesday.

            Rest in peace, Willie.