The Cost of Gratitude

My blog post the week of Thanksgiving about what I am thankful for did not completely capture all aspects of what I want to express.

 

 

Gratitude is being treated today as an alternative therapeutic device to move unhappy people toward a more positive, hopeful outlook on life. Being grateful can have the effect of making us feel good. I'm happy for those who have found this for their lives. However, this is not why we are to be grateful people. It is a by-product of something else.

When I say thank you, I want that other person to feel good. I want to connect with that person on a deeper level of human interaction than we had the moment before.  When done with sincerity and humility, it has the power to transform the relationship.  It can heal, unite, and give purpose to the relationship's future. I also want to add that one should not just say the words “thank you” but follow these two words with an explanation (short) of exactly what they are thankful for. For example, if someone is returning your phone call, the correct way to express gratitude is to say “thank you for promptly returning my call.” (That is correct if indeed they did return your call promptly.)

 

 

It isn't about me or you and how we feel. It is about recognizing that other people give us the life we live. Without them, we are nothing. There are no self-made men or women. Those who try to be, who think they are; these are the small people, confined into the narrow world of their own perception. 

Gratitude opens and expands our perception of the world, because we see the gifts and potential of others. When we do, we can express our appreciation for who they are and what they give, regardless of whether it has directly impacted our lives or not.

 

 

Let me end with one simple story.

Mrs. Jackson was my sixth grade teacher. I was the one student she had to discipline regularly. Once or twice a week, I'd stay after school to write a page out of the dictionary. Then I'd walk 30 minutes home. All alone. Don’t worry; it was a lot safer for a child to walk home alone in those days.

 

Mrs. Jackson changed my life that year. I learned boundaries, and a lot of new words. I'm grateful to her for her commitment to be a teacher who cared enough for me, her student, that she'd not let me get away with being an uncontrollable force in the classroom.  Her impact upon my life remains with me to this day.

 

Years later, I was able to express my gratitude to her as we served together in our church's ministry to members in the hospital. We'd visit people together. It was a sweet way for the relationship to find completeness, and mutuality.

 

 

May you find healing and openness in your relationships with family and friends. May those you thank find a person transformed by your appreciation for their contribution to your life

Let us return the soul to Thanksgiving Day. Become a person for whom Saying “Thank you” every day is not a therapeutic approach for feeling better, but rather how we live each day in relationship to one another.

 

HAPPY HOLIDAYS!