When I was home with a bad cold recently, I tuned in to “As the World Turns,” a soap opera in which nothing has changed since the last time I saw it about five years ago. The main characters have aged, of course, and children who were infants five years ago are now miraculously going through puberty, but the pickles they get into remain predictably the same. The characters have
intermarried so often and the plots are so regularly recycled that you can jump in after decades away and not miss a beat. This time around, Carly is getting Jack, her former husband, back by pretending she has a brain tumor, but Katy, who Jack left at the altar to marry Carly, might stop the wedding in mid-vow to tell him the truth. Kindly Doctor Bob at Oakdale Hospital is still spending an inordinate amount of time at the nurses’ station hashing out family problems with his children from his various marriages. And as usual, Emily, who has been around the block more than a few times, is involved in a love triangle which is going to end in tears. In Oakdale, evil twins, deranged murderers and scheming brides are all sorted out eventually. My own family dramas are so much more prosaic and at the same time, much more intractable. They lack satisfying story arcs and great costumes. During the holidays, I’ll dread the appearance of green bean casseroles and candied fruit (inevitable). I’ll wonder if my brothers will start speaking to one another again (unlikely). I’ll worry about people I love who have fallen out of the safety zone and have to accept that they may not find their way back (who wrote this script?). Guaranteed happy endings live in Oakdale, but I have to remind myself that at least we don’t have any evil twins in the family (yet).
