Ode To Trying On Bathing Suits and Other Summer Fun

Ahh the dog days of summer.  Lounging at the pool in my new bikini.  Baby oil mixed with iodine to give me the "coppertone" tan.  Lemon juice in my hair to make it blonder.   Bottles of coke stashed in my pool bag cause no glass allowed at the pool. Lifeguards with zinc oxide on their noses. 

NOT

That's not how my summers went growing up. 

Off to the mall to try on one piece bathing suits.  Which one would make my thighs look slimmer and my chest look larger?  Yes, the 20th black one in the stack of all black bathing suits.  Home and to the pool.  Oh yikes, the iodine baby oil mix has leaked all over my towel.  If I just rub the towel over my body I'll be fine.  I'm roasting like a chicken on a rotisserie only my skin isn't  turning golden I look red as a beet.  My hair smells like iodine from lying on my towel.  Oh darn forgot my bottle opener for my coke.  Thanks to my friend I can open....shoot it's exploding all over me.  

That life guard is too cute.  Oh sure Jan, I'll walk home alone so you can walk home with him.

Bye, see you tomorrow.

Love that cool feel of the Noxzema on my parched shoulders