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viewsSkirt! Team Challenge: Spirit-Living in the positive
By FoxC1, Tuesday, February 8, 2011, 3 commentsWell, Well, Well.....
For the past couple of weeks I have been focused on getting my mind in line with the rest of me. To say it was slow beginning would be an understatement, but by the grace of God and the healing words of skirt(sisters)
it has gotten better. I feel as if I am on the right path to address a lot of the things that have plague my mind over the past years. It feels so good to be able to have peaceful time throughout the day that really is peaceful. I didn't have a problem finding the fifteen minutes to spare, I was not using it properly. For the past two weeks it has been going really well, I have been spending a lot of time on the treadmill and in the shower. So lets just say I am very clean and on the road to perfekt fitness(note perfekt).
Well, this past week I have added working on my spirit 
trying to become a little more centered. I learned early in my life that you can not please everyone, if you try you will bury yourself. Once I became an adult and had the ability to make proper choices for myself, I decided that I will keep negative people out of my path. I must admit that it has worked for me and it keeps my spirit connected, it helps me stay focused.
Now, a few weeks ago I had some negative energy enter my crosswalk. I had a number of options, so I decided to just step back from the situation and keep stepping in my own direction. Ok, Ok, Ok.. I will tell what happened. Deep Breath and here it goes....My in-laws have been very helpful to me in regards to my children, if I had to work nights they volunteered to keep my daughter for me. At most, they had her five to six times a month. Well, I called them to ask if it would be ok for my daughter to spend half of day with them since she had been out of school for three days for weather(thanks mother nature). I had taken her to work with me three days, and just wanted to get her somewhere a little relaxing for a few hours. Well, my mother-laws comment was and I quote" Since we are talking about this,I know you are trying to go to Las Vegas for two days for business but I just want to say that there are times that grandpa and I spend time together(she proceeds to name dates) our couples retreat maybe having an event that those days I am not sure what or when the events will be. I just don't like making myself readily available to anyone at the drop of a hat." 
I was shocked, I mentioned that I have never imposed on anything that they planned to go ever, I have always called ahead of time to ask if they could keep their grand daughter. so, I politely said no problem I can make other arrangements for her during that time. So then she wanted to ask my father in-law to keep my daughter and I said never mind she will stay with me thank you and wrapped up the conversation. I have not spoken with her in four weeks. I was told she had some things going on and was under stress at that time of our conversation. No excuses to me, this is something you have been wanting to say. I was hurt because I thought they enjoyed their time with my daughter. But I told them I was backing off and I have that right. I don't like drama, and she is full of it at times. This is not the first time she has pulled something like this, my husband warned me. I am a believer in giving people the chance to change.(I think she needs more time)
Still have plenty of love for her, but God has given me the choice to remove things that are not good for me. I am at peace with this because I have prayed, and ask for guidance. I just hope she understands, that you need to be careful of what you say to others.
Things have been going just fine for us, my daughter hasn't asked about her grandmother. Kind of makes me wonder if she projected that attitude to my daughter and that's why she really didn't care to be around her. Oh well who knows...
There goes my lesson on inner peace and living in the positive light. Whew, thanks for letting me get that out...
FoxC1
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3 Comments
Girl do I know what you're
Girl do I know what you're talking about! I can get so easily hurt sometimes when people say things that rub me the wrong way. And in the end, you've got to do what's best for you and for your family.
The only thing is that I am so often (WAY more times than I'd like to admit) the one who is not careful about what I say. I can see it on people's faces, when something I say comes out sounding like an order, rather than like a joke as I had intended. Or, when something I say sounds like an insult or criticism when I only meant it as a casual observation.
Believe me, I know what it feels like to get really angry and annoyed with someone who I feel has wronged me or insulted me.
But lately--last week in particular--I've been the ass who has been putting those around me on the defensive (It's like I can't help myself sometimes). I'm trying to figure out why this has been happening, because it's been so uncomfortable being the one who is insensitive to other people's needs. Maybe it's karma or the universe trying to show me that it's not so easy sometimes to be as careful as we'd like with our words? That words really can cause a lot of damage.
Is it possible to tell your mother in law that what she said hurt your feelings? The reason I ask is that she had offered to watch your daughter all of those other times, which seems like she really cares about you and your family. Sometimes, calling a spade a spade can bring light on the situation. There's never anything wrong (in my opinion anyway) with stating the obvious. My aunt is great at this. She'll come right out and ask someone in the moment, "Why are you being such a jerk right now?" or she'll ask them, "Why are you making excuses?" Usually she's right on target, and she speaks the truth. When someone is called on the truth about a situation, it's usually difficult for them to deny it, and it helps them be more mindful about how they're coming across.
Please take whatever I say with a grain of salt. I'm just thinking out loud here...
Either way, taking time and space for yourself sounds like something you need right now to take care of yourself. I'm so happy to hear that you're taking care of yourself and that you're feeling a spiritual connection with God:-)
Hugs,
Kimberly
Kimberly- I loved reading
Kimberly- I loved reading your thoughts about this... I am so glad we have each other here to run things by...
FoxC- First- this got posted without me spotting it today. Sorry I am just getting around to reading it. I am so proud of you spending your quiet time and working on your spiritual. I may have found some ypgaish options and will e-mail you.
As far as what happened... my inlaws are "different" too, and since they're not really your family, their actions are hard to understand. I do think as mothers we can be (overly??) sensitive sometimes when it comes to our kids... not saying that you are, but I am saying I was and am always especially sensitive about my son, particularly when it comes to family. They (family) are supposed to be the people we can trust , especially with something as valuable as our children. When they brush us off, or say something cold or inappropriate- it hurts all the more! I admire your aunt who you say can always call a spade a spade. I wish I were more like that...
I think keeping the negaitive energies at bay is a very valid thing to do. But of course, when it comes to family, avoidance is not a long term solution. Maybe you need to obsetve how they interact with your daughter when you are around- or be the bigger person and invite them over while you are there. That might give her a chance to say something if she is having 2nd thoughts. Also, you would feel more control on your own turf.
xxoo S
Good advice
Kimberly and Susan are totally on the mark. My only addition is to say, be sure to take time to cool down and don't let the differences turn into a chasm.
I think you're very wise to note the differences, make a choice that allows you not to feel defensive right now, and find inner peace.
Thanks for this wonderful and honest blog.
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