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viewsSKIRT! Team Challenge, Mind & Spirit: Trust is an issue
By FoxC1, Monday, February 28, 2011, 4 comments 
TRUST, TRUST, TRUST
Who would think these few letters could mean so much, and could make or break a persons views on the world. I have been dealing a lot with the trust issues I have held so close for many years. last week it has resurfaced it's ugly little head, that is why I wanted to write about my battle with this issue. My ability to trust someone is non-existent, I use to have a hard time trusting others. I would think to myself, if I can't trust my parents to do whats best for me, how could I trust someone else to do it. That being said, it was always hard for me to date. I never thought high enough of any man to give them a shoot at trusting them. There was one person that I thought was not out to hurt me, so needless to say I married him.
This past week, someone mentioned to me not to trust what a certain person was saying. I was told that this person steal has dealing with someone whom I loathe. But is it right for me to expect this person not to have dealing with this person because of the pain they have caused me. One side of me wants to say, yes it is fair for me to expect this person to not deal with this person. On the other hand, if they smile in my face all the while socializing with the enemy; how should I respond to that. I am questioning whether or not I really trust this person....I am so torn that I can't sleep. If I turn my head to this person, than I would need to do the same thing to many members of my family(aunts,uncles, cousins). I am ready to make that type of step. I have lived my life not trusting, and I must admit that it has led to a very lonely road.
I must add that over the years I have found some really great people that I do trust, and they are not relatives. Why is it easy for me to trust them and not easy for me to trust my family members? Could I be over analyzing this, or should I trust my gut feeling and walk away... That is this weeks delima...please help me shine some light on this....
FoxC
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4 Comments
Oh, FoxC1, I hear you on this
Oh, FoxC1, I hear you on this one. I have struggled with this in the past too. Something that helped me to keep in mind was this:
"You cannot control what people do or don't do, or what they say or don't say. All you have control over is yourself, over your own actions."
I don't know if that helps or not, but, that expression has really, really helped me a lot. It has helped me to take care of myself, and to not let other people's behavior have so much control or influence over me.
Something else that has given me A LOT of serenity, has been reading daily inspiration from a book by Melody Beattie. Her book is called, "The language of letting go." This book has so much wonderful advice on all kinds of issues, about how to handle people who have hurt you, how to trust ourselves, how to trust others, survivor guilt, how to say no, how to handle anger, detaching in love, etc. etc.. In fact, today's reading is titled "Be who you are," and there are about 6 paragraphs that talk about this. It's a very healing, and spiritual book, and it has given me A LOT of peace and peace of mind, as well as new ways to think about things.
I mention it just in case it might be of interest to you:-) You're asking all of the right questions, dear FoxC1. And, only you can find the answers that are right for you. Those answers come to us sometimes when we least expect it.
Best wishes through this,
Kimberly
Thank you Kimberly, OMG I
Thank you Kimberly, OMG I feel like The Language of Letting Go is the story of my life. I will look for that book, I am always up for reading books that can give me some direction. I will let you know how it goes, I hope all is well with you Dahling... Talk to you soon.
FoxC1
In situations like this, I
In situations like this, I always trust my gut feeling. What is your gut telling you?
Keep in mind. People make mistakes. If the offense is forgivable, confront that person and forgive them. If you cannot forgive this easily, tell the person that they have lost your trust and leave it to them to make it up to you. That is what I would do.
MetaxaCunningham, thank you
MetaxaCunningham, thank you for your advice. Your right that I should trust my gut feeling.. I just don't want to come off like a psycho...I am trying to see if some of the issues that I have are forgivable, I guess time will tell. I will keep you posted, thanks again.
FoxC1
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