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viewsSkirt! Team challenge! Mind: The Road Ahead
By FoxC1, Monday, January 24, 2011, 5 commentsBare with me is all I can say this week, it has yet again been a tough week. It has been tough because i keep having all of these memories of terrible things. I dont know why these things are surfacing now. Could it be that i am getting to old to keep surpressing these feeling and thoughts. I am thinking it may be time to deal with these emotions and stop trying to just get by. Over the next couple of weeks i am going to take the bull by the horns and tackle some of these issues...wish me luck. With running my own business and working full time as well, not sure if i will make the time(just being honest) there are always road blocks on the road to sanity and i am trying to smooth out my road, we will see how it goes.
I must say that I did find another source of comfort, it's name is RUNNING! I hadn't realized how clear my mind is while I am running, I don't think of anything except breathing during that time. I would say that's a good thing, being that I run for about thirty minutes...that's a lot of free non thinking time....I hope that made sense. Now, I am still trying to get a handle on being able to sit still for a minute without feeling the pains of guilt. Guilt is one thing that I know leads to stress and I try very hard to live a stress free life.
So, in an effort to move forward with my pain I am going to blog this week about the daily thoughts that are holding me captive Please with these blogs I would love any and all feed back. You may not think your thoughts aren't relevant but you never know how it may help me.
I also want to send a big THANK YOU and a HUGE HUG to the other skirt challenge ladies for all of their support. You ladies have given me the strength to tackle this area of my lfe....THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU....
FoxC1
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5 Comments
Hang in there!
It sounds like running has been so good for you these days! I remember back when my knees didn't hurt so bad, I used to love my time running--it was definitely "me" time, uninterrupted, time when I could just regroup and think.
Sorry to hear that you've been having such a tough time with bad memories. I can definitely relate to that. Just remember to be gentle with yourself and to do nice things for yourself. You're worth it!
Also, when you say, "Now, I am still trying to get a handle on being able to sit still for a minute without feeling the pains of guilt," I thought: Maybe it's not so important right now to sit still in a physical sense? Maybe it's just as good that you are finding some inner peace with being able to still your mind, while your legs carry you through your run? --Just something to think about:-)
Keep up the great work!
xoxo Kimberly
Kimberly, thank you so much
Kimberly, thank you so much for all of your encouragement. You might be on to something, maybe the point is to still my mind for the time being. Doing that alone has done wonders for me so far. I was really never a runner, until my husband suggested I try it. I LOVE IT!!!!! It has shown me a different way of dealing with stress. I know that memories will never fade, at times they are more intense than other times. I can handle them, I just don't like to let them take control of me. They also tend to make me lash out at my mother because I am still dealing with this crap and she won't acknowledge it. In due time I am sure, in due time. Thank you again Kimberly your the best....xoxoxox back at ya dahling
Cleo
You know Foxy, everyone deals
You know Foxy, everyone deals or does not deal with things in their own way, and one thing I know about you is that you are a survivior! I can tell that about you and there is NO WAY you are going to be beat by this. When we are children, about the only way we can deal with bad things is to not deal with them. We don't have many REAL options beyond dealing with them in our head. We do what we need to survive,. In my own life, I have found that while I was able to right some of the wrongs, I simply made new ones in their place. As we grow up, we often see those old ways of coping aren't really working so well. You are birthing a business and you've birthed a baby and now it's time to grow you, too. Growing never feels good at the time.:(
xxoo and we are cheering you on...
Ouch, your right...Growing up
Ouch, your right...Growing up has never felt good, the good type of growing up that is. Your right I have always believed that I will not let this beat me, i know if it does than my abuser has won again. I promised the good lord and two German shepherds that I would not let that happen. I have been in a constant state of labor birthing this business, I will be glad when this sucker crowns...lol...just kidding. But I will not be defeated by my demons, and with you ladies holding my hand I am getting stronger and stronger... I owe you a tall glass of wine one of these days Susan, let me know when...
FoxC1
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