The Walking Dead. I’m Giving It One Last Shot.

I was a fan-come-lately to The Walking Dead, the post-apocalyptic drama on AMC. I got a deal on the season one box set this summer, so I bought it and watched the whole six-episode season over a weekend. I loved it! It was a fun and fast-paced show that didn’t sacrifice character development along the way. I never read the graphic novels it was based on, so I was constantly on the edge of my seat, wondering how they might get out of the next zombie-based scrape. Over the six episode season, the stories about the humans trapped in Zombieland weaved effortlessly underneath the “how the hell are we gonna survive this” tale.

In the first episode, we started out with our bestie, Sheriff’s Deputy Rick waking up alone in a hospital, having survived a bullet wound as well as whatever happened to turn the world into us (alive) and them (walkers). We learned about the new world order as Rick did. When he began the search for his wife and son, we hoped with him. When he had to handcuff the racist loose cannon Merle to the rooftop, we understood him. When he found his wife and son amid a group of camping survivors, we cheered him. Camp was cool, especially when a random band of walkers showed up one night and started biting folk. But after that, we started to lose our way. 

They ran to the CDC for shelter and the hope of a cure for the virus/bacteria/witches' brew that causes zombieism. (Zombieitis? Zombieness?) The sole remaining doctor at the CDC was running out of gas for the generators and had long since run out of hope. In the season one finale, dude declares that there will never be a cure and blows the joint up. But our rag-tag crew of “I Will Survive” warriors make it out of there just in the nick of time. Well, most of them do.

Season two. First episode shows our friends stuck in a traffic jam of cars that will never move again. (Isn’t that just the way?) The best sequence of the season (so far) happens on that crowded highway. They spot walkers coming toward them, so they hide under the parked cars. (Not the best hiding place, but time was an issue.) As they’re hiding, one of the walkers spots Sophia, a little girl, in her hiding spot. Naturally, she runs. And she hasn’t been heard of since. Honestly, she’s been gone so long from the group and from the storyline that it barely even matters at all whether or not they find her. And the hunt for her has gotten boring.

While they were out looking for Sophia one of the first times, Rick’s kid was accidentally shot by a guy out deer hunting. Wait. What? There’s a guy out deer hunting? There are more survivors living on a farm nearby? That’s interesting. More characters mean more drama, right? Not really. These people are boring. They also tend to come and go without rhyme or reason. That’s been the problem the whole season. The plot lines either stretch out forever without a string of intrigue or they get chopped off at the ankles before they get a chance to take root.

In the episode where T-Dog cut his arm and got an infectious fever, I thought for sure his illness and resulting dementia would turn into a major arc for season two. But nope—never fear. Darryl’s got some antibiotics right here. When the group found a walker in the well, I thought, “Great! Here’s a problem that could really create some tension and get serious.” But no. There are two other wells available on the property. When Shane shot Otis, it was an evil and low-down thing to do. It was a major character turning point. Except it wasn’t. He shaved his head. But that’s about the only difference so far. The writers even had a chance to weave in a sweet little love story between Glen the Korean pizza delivery guy and the new farm girl who’s name I can’t remember but who played Rose on Vampire Diaries. But instead of showing their relationship develop, or even showing a teensy bit of sexual tension between the two, it was new girl just randomly declaring, “I’ll have sex with you.” Oh you will? Fantastic. How generous.

And then there was the major bomb drop. The one thing that’s been an issue from season one, episode one: Laurie’s affair with Shane while she thought Rick was dead. She finally gets up the nerve to tell her husband what happened, and he’s like “Oh, that? Yeah, I figured. It’s okay. You thought I was dead.” Um, what? No jealous husband outrage against the loose-cannon policeman gone wild? No hurt feelings? No NOTHING? If we’re going to go entire episodes without a single major threat from the zombies, I at least need the humans to kick up some drama.

So, tonight I’ll give the show one last shot. If it’s 55 minutes of people whining about how they wish they didn’t have to run from zombies followed by 5 minutes of a contrived cliffhanger, I’m out. I’m out for good.