Funny Thing Is....

A long time ago in a lifetime far, far away I used to be funny.  I started blogging a little over three years ago and – really – from the onset, my family was very, very afraid.  I threw my poor husband and imperfect kids under the bus so often there was a tally board of who was most pissed on any given week.  I blogged often and took no prisoners: 

Teens kicked out of my car on a 30 degree day and made to walk to school for passenger seat backtalk?  Done.  In the blogosphere for eternity. 

Fifth-grader selling his Dollar Store faux fig newtons for a 300% profit?  yep.  Cemented in cyberspace.

Spouse returning from a luxurious business trip with some lame souvenir cookbook from the exclusive restaurant he dined at?  Like a world-wide-web tattoo, forever mocked.

Ah well.  Thanks to a couple of curveballs, my humor tapered off quite a bit this year.  There were obstacles and sorrow and unexpected pitfalls and sonofabitch there was nothing funny about any of it.  The laughs seemed to dry up faster than old lady elbows. 

I won’t be cliché enough to spout about a light at the end of a tunnel but I will profess to know for a fact that shiteous situations do, in fact, make way for new chapters in life.

Thankfully (and as I’ve often written of), my friends saved me.  Even those across the country --  those who would threaten to hop on a plane for the sole purpose of kicking my kid’s ass or those who would email snarky photos of a bloated and orange Christina Aguillera to cheer me --  got me to Now.  In one piece.

So with a genuine belief in new beginnings, I feel it’s finally about time to shine that spotlight back onto my perfectly imperfect and eyerollingly awesome family -- and the funnies they bring with them.

Trouble is…I don’t even know where to start….

I might start with my husband who just returned from a guys’ football weekend and found time amidst cigars and pastrami sandwiches and boobie-bars to text me ACTUAL “People of WalMart” photos…

Or I could begin with my daughter, who just started DRIVING.  Nothing too funny there.  Except that she failed her road test the first time and brought instant hilarity (to her mother, whom she REFUSED to take constructive criticism from) when she faced the driving instructor and sobbed like a spurned “American Idol” reject, begging for another chance….

I could even catch up with news of my return to working fulltime.  When I took the job at a school for emotionally troubled teens I thought for sure I’d have plenty of blogworthy material.  Hell, we’ve all see “The Breakfast Club,” right? How funny could THAT be?  Well, it turns out I happen to like these kids way too much to betray their trust so I’ll likely just divulge my own less-than-stellar moments as a working girl (like the idiocy of wearing high heeled boots, which are not very effective when in hot pursuit of a student who has, shall we say, ….. exited the building….).

So I’d like to believe I’m back.

…with the funnies (and the things that completely tick me off)...

…because I’m tired of being the buzzkill blog.

Oh – and another thing --

My son was watching a show on the Disney Channel the other night and one of the ‘tweens on the show called another kid a “buzzkill” – to remark that he was ruining the fun.  Really?  Little kids can have their buzz killed?  That went up and down me. 

Not as much, though, as news of the Duggars.  That just makes me want to hurl something.

When I used that as my Facebook update (what, some didn’t?) my friend Sharon added, “What did they use for foreplay this time – maybe a new TLC contract taped to the ceiling?”

Big lolz.

See?  I even surround myself with funny people.

-- Tina Drakakis