Alone Again (Un) Naturally

My husband left and took the kids.

I’ve been holding in my emotions for most of the week but I’ve no doubt my increasing sadness glee has been seeping out and I’m afraid my spouse has found it a tad obnoxious.

He’s gone off on our annual family ski trip and my new job prevents me from joining them for the first time in over a decade.   Now, this is far from tragic because if you’ve tuned in before, you may already be aware that -- while I play nice with this event -- I clearly do not love this silly sport.

So for the very first time ever….

…I am home….

…alone…

..in my own house.

Would it make this blog more interesting if I revealed I was naked while typing it?  I’m not (or am I?  How would anyone know?) but I could be if I wanted to.

I just can’t lie, I’m a bit giddy.  The next few days are way more about digging out the granny panties, popping open Pinot and sleeping in the middle of the mattress to de-lump it (check, check, check).  It goes beyond commandeering the remote control and enforcing an ESPN ban.

I have no one to take care of but myself.  No one.  Oh, there’s a dog here but I’m pretty sure it doesn’t have a Social Studies project due tomorrow so I’m good.

Hear that?  Really?  No?

It’s silence.

And I’ll tell you what you DON’T hear:  the sound of me flushing a toilet every time I enter a bathroom in my house.

Or the sound of my voice hitting shrill Mariah octaves while little boys wrestle around me during homework.

Or the sound of my air horn that I use to call them in from outside (my neighbors especially are not upset that this sound has been muted).

Or the sound of nightly thudding footsteps from a teen bedroom to a hallway bathroom (backandforthbackandforthbackandforth) for 40 minutes of bedtime rituals.

So anywho, I am simply enjoying my few moments of solitude.   Starting with watching Glee, my love/loathe pick of the week. 

Here are a couple more: 

I LOVE the new JC Penney commercials announcing the end of sales.  Hilarious.  Just might have to take a peek in there soon.  BUT ……

I (not exactly) LOATHE (but definitely do not like): the Matthew Broderick Super Bowl commercial that is burning up the web.  What was once charming is now sooooo not.  Ferris is pudgy and pasty and actually kinda creepy looking.  They should’ve gone with Duckie.

I LOVE that James finally admitted that having Hillary Swank on his “List” was a huge mistake.

I LOATHE that he replaced her with Sofia Vergara.

I LOVE that all the high fiber foods I’ve added to my diet are causing me to make additional healthy choices.

I LOATHE….well…the effects of hello, high fiber foods…

If I didn’t have to pad an extra 20 minutes into my morning routine (damn dog) I could go on all night…..

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-- Tina Drakakis