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viewsTrue North
By Ann Clizer, Friday, January 1, 2010, 7 comments
fter nearly three decades of marriage, I called it quits late one March afternoon near Baja’s Sea of Cortez as a waning moon sunk low into the western sky. I had waited nearly 36 hours for my soon-to-be-ex-husband to show up and hear me out. While it was no surprise to either of us that our marriage was finished, I hadn’t expected to succumb to the critical mass of our imbalances in such an abrupt and urgent manner. In delivering the unwelcome news, I essentially marooned myself in a foreign country without money of my own or any clear route into a fresh, new life.
I knew I could no longer sanely exist in the partnership, but I didn’t know much else. Supportive friends slipped cash into my hands, twenty dollars from one, a hundred from another, promising me temporary refuge in their homes should I need it. But what I really needed was a plan, some protocol to help me zero in and lock onto a new direction.
When I said “no thanks” to the old life, I opted out of the financial support I’d been blessed with in that long-term marriage. Those who loved me felt certain my circumstances called for immediate employment, and for some reason, many favored my landing a receptionist position in a doctor’s office, but the truth was, I didn’t want a job. I was 55 and had spent most of my adult life raising children, making a home and performing a supporting role in the family construction business. Declaring myself single felt like a hard left turn into expansive territory constellated with opportunities for personal choice after personal choice. Convincing a prospective employer to buy the minutes and hours of this new life clashed with my goals and ideals in a big way. I had no clue how to reconcile my needs and desires, but I didn’t intend to give up before the game began.
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7 Comments
Loved your story...
....very moving and inspring. Keep on trucking with that Subarau - I'll think of you the next time I use my GPS...and maybe pick up a map instead.
Yay for the girls!
You're my hero(ine)! I'm in a good relationship now going on 10 years but it makes me happy to see women take their power back when they've been sapped of it for so long...
This is one of the BEST posts.....
....I've read in months. I thought I would have seen more comments! What you did was was awesome. You were brave, fearless and fearful at the same time. I would hate to think that your personal bravery would have other women thinking of themselves...yet not having the courage to do the same. I would hate also that others couldn't acknowledge what you did based on their own fears. No matter what anyone would do, it's empowering,a t least to me to know that someone took a big risk in reinventing their life. "You go girl," is so lame, but I love reading stories like this.
Ann, you are a woman with
Ann, you are a woman with GUTS and GRIT! Now, if only you could bottle that up and sell it to all of us...you'd make yourself a few bucks to retire. With appreciation...~~Kim
Taking charge
Ann,
You are a lot like me. In 2001, I took charge of my life and quit a well paying job and took a chance on moving forward in a new direction. Like you, I am not limited with a 9 -5 and have no regrets. As the old saying goes, keep on pushing.
Interesting...
Loved it!
So many times we don't do things for fear of the unknown which keeps us in the same place we are miserable in. I hope when faced with a monumental decision such as you made, I can look to what it is I need to survive, which is sanity and being happy with myself, instead of what I need to survive which is fleeting ie. monetary. Maybe one day I will pass you when I am riding my motorcycle and wave!
A life can never be "cut short" if it was lived to the fullest. Waiting to live, that is the tragedy.
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