Shameful Commerce

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The Waterloo of my holiday shopping campaign was a ski outfit. A silky turtleneck, a kicky vest trimmed in fur, tailored sable ski pants with a five-inch inseam. The outfit was for a doll, 18 inches of mercantile genius. Her name was Nicki, and like all worthwhile women, she came with baggage. Accessories. She had a story. Nicki rode horses, worked on her father’s farm, fended off mean girls and trained guide dogs for the disabled. And she skied. Which meant that in addition to the doll, the only item my five-year-old daughter had requested for Christmas, I needed the ski accessories. Several days before the holiday, I realized that ­we had the ski gear—tiny poles, skis, boots and goggles, but not the ski wear. Nicki and all her goodies had been sold out for a month. She would be forced to schuss down the slopes wearing her tiny Western-themed mini skirt and eyelet blouse. My daughter would not tolerate this, the potential for frostbite to mar the dimpled knees of the doll. There was only one way to fulfill her holiday wish: the online auction.

A certain website has created an aftermarket for hope by way of online auctions. It’s not just shopping, it’s winning! In the old days, when something was sold out, it was gone. Now everything remains available, for a price. Shopping is a competitive sport. A player fights for the right to bleed the most currency. Refresh. Refresh. That button is the morphine drip of online bidding. The website has married the efficient money-shedding techniques of a night of casino gambling and a mugging, without the smoky buffet line or the blow to the head. It even has a hip name—social commerce. It sounds wholesome, like green energy, micro lending or flaxseed waffles. One is lured in by a rumor. A whisper about an implausible deal. A silver tea set smithed by Paul Revere for $150, plus shipping. An original Matisse from a pet-free and smoke-free home for $29. Then there are lesser victories; the door hardware or auto part for 50 percent off retail. The first item won is the gateway drug of online bidding. The victor returns again, drawn by the smell of prices below wholesale.