Gently Used

We send things out into the universe and wonder what the effect will be . . . the couch you treasured will become a part of someone else's life now. The girls who took it reap a tangible benefit that stems from their own determination and, yes, some good fortune. Timing is everything! The "opt out/opt in" scenario can be confusing. We wonder about the path abandoned; we miss our old 'identity'; we second-guess our decisions. Be assured, though, that there is no better investment a mother can make than to be able to raise her children. Someday, you will send them out into the world, like the couch. And you won't necessarily know who they are with! Your only hope is that they are strong and sturdy and loving and giving and able to take care of themselves. That is what you're teaching them every single day. In all of nature, there is no stronger bond than the mother/child connection. Treasure that, and nurture it. Sometimes I think we become so caught up in the 'productivity' mentality that we deny our own basic need to 'mother' our children. I'm glad to know that you've found that and acknowledged its importance. As for craigslist, it is an incredible resource. Your essay illustrates the sense of community the site engenders. I like thinking about the couch and its new 'life' with the young girls who took it. It's almost like a karmic recycling . . . they're on the brink of life and young lives are hectic. I'm betting they really appreciate having a comfortable place to sit down! J.

Recently, I got rid of my first big purchase - a fold-out sofa I bought before I got married, had two kids, and then added two dogs to my family. We put it out on the sidewalk and took pictures of everyone sitting on it. It was so bittersweet. The couch was so old - at least 20 years old. It was a piece of doo doo, but it held so many memories. My husband almost pulled it back inside because I was so sad. And I was the one who wanted to replace it with something more comfortable for guests, something the teens could enjoy with their friends in front of the new TV we had purchased. I was thinking of writing a piece about my sofa - you did it for me. I'm a few steps ahead of you, but I so relate to everything you are going through. I work part-time, have always been home with the kids - and wonder what I "gave up" but then I look at them and know I didn't give up anything. At 50 with two teens, a part-time teaching gig and freelance here and there, I wonder what is next. But despite all my questioning, if I had the chance to change anything in my past, I don't think I would. Being with my children as much as I was has been the best part of my life. Am I jealous of others' professional success? Yes. But with one daughter halfway out the front door, I am so happy I spent as much time as I did with them. I'll never get them back once they're gone. Those two women with the couch will have their own tough decisions to make - and who knows what compromises they'll come to down the road. Good luck and enjoy the moment....