It's been along time . . .

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It's been along time . . .

By Emsonline, Tuesday, February 9, 2010, 6 comments

Email to a friend

I don't feel right. I'm not happy, it's like I'm sick but I can't put
my finger on the reason why I feel sick. My head is so full of sh*t.
Sometimes it's like he hasn't really gone and then some small thing
draws my attention to this all emcombassing loss - that's just so big
it takes my breath away.

I was in the shower yesterday and suddenly I've got tears running down
my cheeks and I can't control them.

They say time heals, but isn't it that you start to forget, I don't
want to forget.

Yesterday was difficult at mama's - sharing our food with family and
friends for the first time - and I just kept expecting him to butt
into the conversation; make a rude joke or funny comment. But he
wasn't there - I had too much to drink. I didn't want to be there
having fun when he's not there too. Mama's face spoke a thousand
words, she is putting on such a brave face - what can she be feeling?
If I feel this bad how much worse can it be for her, it's sometimes
too much to bare.

Work just seems so unimportant. Like getting on a brainless hamsters
wheel with no real purpose or meaning.

Unhappy Skirt Out

Emsonline

Skirtsetter

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6 Comments

elaynaalexandra

....

It is strange how loss seems to numb you, leaving you feeling...I guess a bit like a zombie. Life nothing really matters you sort of go through the motions. Just keep going through the motions, time doesn't heal but it does make the pain smaller, it does make life turn into color again after its grief stricken black and white. Try to pamper yourself, let your self cry and find a grief group I haven't gone but I have heard really great things. Hugs.

Freelance Artist & Writer

krrobi

~~~Oh, Em, my heart is

~~~Oh, Em, my heart is breaking. I wish I had the right words to comfort you....but I do not. All I can do is send you love and prayers and kisses....all I can do is cry with you. My favorite verse is "Be Still and Know that I am God." Remember that. He loves you and will give you the comfort you need. My email is siammuse@msn.com. I am here for you... Love, Kim

Laura Henneforth

big hugs and love for

big hugs and love for you...deal with your pain as best you can and like the other ladies said, be gentle with yourself...

Susan Boswell

xxoo

Hugs to you Emm... I am so sad for you and your loss. I lost my mama , too this year, Christmas morning. Tomorrow is . was, would have been her birthday. I'm not doing too good, either. I however, am plowing forward like someone on speed. Go figure??? We miss you here...Susan Boswell/ The Girl From Goat Pasture Road

Blog: www.susanboswell.blogspot.com

Emsonline