Skinny Bitches

Did my blog title reel you in? Are you prepared for a rant about those annoying skinny bitches who seem to rule the world?

Well, sorry. This might be a bit of a rant...but it is by a “Skinny Bitch”.

Ever since M’onique came out with her book, Skinny Bitches Are Evil, I have been questioning this so-called evilness of the Skinny Bitch. I’ll give you the rundown of a Skinny Bitch’s life right now:

Growing up I was a twig. You could see bones on me that you wouldn’t normally see on the average girl. I ate tons of carbs, junk food, soda, and nice large helpings of my mother’s home-cooked dinners. But I never gained a pound. As a matter of fact, I stayed around 95 lbs until I was at least fifteen. After that I bulked up to a whopping 101 lbs. Breasts? Well, those didn’t fully emerge until I was at least 23 and they were not what you would call a ‘handful’. Hate me yet? Why?

Is it because I had a hard time getting boyfriends as a teenager because they were all too busy chasing after curvy girls, who in turn were too busy fretting about their weight to notice how desirable they were? Do you hate me because I can eat “whatever I like” but still have to worry about cholesterol, diabetes, and effects of poor nutrition all around?

Or, do you hate me because designers supposedly make clothing just for me? (I never fit into the womanly designs of Ann Klein and DKNY. I had to wear clothes from the junior section or Calvin Klein, whom we all know makes clothes for teen boys and passes it off as women’s clothing.) Or do you hate me because I supposedly always get the rich guy? (Every BF I’ve had was always a starving artist or student, dammit.) Or is it because my body type is celebrated ALL around the world and skinny women are regaled as the most beautiful, the most attractive, blah, blah, blah. (Which is why the young guys in my creative writing class just last night were talking about how annoying it is that scrawny women like Angelina Jolie play female action heroes and how she needs to eat something – NO LIE.)

So what is this ‘evilness’ that M’onique and millions of other women see? I am not sure. But I know what I see. I see men everywhere talking about how beautiful their girlfriends and wives are but how these women won’t stop obsessing about their weight. I see women frantically trying to get to 125 lbs when they are 135 lbs because the number 125 is the perfect weight and they will simply not be happy in life until they reach that specific number. I saw that during my recent post-pregnancy period at a healthy 135 lbs, men were twisting their necks to catch a glimpse of my nice-sized booty. Now back to my standard 120 lbs, necks are no longer twisting.

Oh, ladies, ladies, ladies. If only you knew how I envy you. How I’ve envied you all my life. How incredibly beautiful and luscious you are. I’m not saying it isn’t good to be fit or to eat nutritiously. But  I smile when women get fit and eat right because they want to live a long, fruitful life, not because they want to reach a certain weight, convinced that life will change once it happens. You have the power to change your life right now, no matter what the scale says. So when are we going to let go of these ridiculous myths about being skinny????

How about we get off this trip of hating on the person who is on the other side of the grass, you know, where it is supposedly greener? Why is it that everything else in the world comes packaged in diversity but we feel the need to fit into some rigid, cookie-cutter image? Well, no matter what society’s stupid standard is, we know the truth: that society can take its cookie-cutter standard and shove it up its snooty ass.

Because as different as we all are, we are equally beautiful.

Hugs,

Your resident Skinny Bitch (but I’m not evil!)