The Sober New Year

I've been silent for a few weeks now.  The reason?  2011 has been kicking my ass.  

It's funny that the last blog I wrote about was letting myself feel proud of myself.  Ha.  I have this superstition.  That I can never talk about the good things that happen to me because then the good thing will be taken away or something bad will happen.  I know, deep down, that it's not always true.  But every time I seem to go lax on the superstition, the shit bites me in the ass.  Sigh.

I don't mean to start off the New Year (even though we're a month into it) with a negative post, but well, I'm feeling, well, a little negative.  The list of things that have happened to me so far this year:

1. I got laid off.  Again.  

2. I have severe acid reflux.

3. I've had sinus infections and the flu.

4. I'm applying to all sorts of jobs and listening to crickets answer me in response.

5. Because I have acid reflux, I haven't been able to really drink for a month so I've had to go through all this shit sober.

Look, it ain't a bad thing to be facing the New Year sober.  It's kind of enlightening, in fact.  Because I thought 2010 was a bad year, but 2011 is already giving last year a run for its money.

People tell me that if I think positively enough, positive stuff will happen.  I'm not sure this is true.  I wake up every day and I hope "Today is better than the last."  On the whole, some days are, some days aren't.  But I just can't be all Miss Mary Sunshine about life at the moment when life is kinda dealing me a rough hand.

Is my hand better than others out there?  Sure.  I have a supportive husband.  I have my friends and family.  I have my writing, even though some days I wish I was banker versus a writer.

It's hard when the New Year gets off to a rough start.  You hope and pray that the rest of the New Year won't be this bad.  That something positive will happen.   

It's not that I can't be a positive person.  It's that it's hard to stay positive when life keeps serving you lemons and then gives you no squeezer to make the damn lemonade.

But anyway, I'm getting better.  So I'm going to throw those damn lemons to the wind and hopefully get me a great craft beer to drink my worries away.