If I looked like J-Lo, would you hire me?

Believe it or not, this is an ad I found -- "Attractive Secretary Wanted: Multiple tasking person must be very polite and great on the phones must be very organized because she will work direct with our CEO must see a picture."  So...my mind started running and I thought, if I sent him a pic of J-Lo, one of the most banging women out there and say, "Look at this woman.  I am her EXACT TWIN!" Would I get the job?

Because you know, despite the fact, I'm Little, Asian, and well, not always Drunk, I once was told I looked like J-Lo.  I was in high school, about fifteen years old.  This dude, big guy, huge fro with a comb always sticking out of it, says to me, "Lady, what's your name?"   Because I'm new to the school, desperate for friends, and think this guy doesn't look so bad, say, "I'm Celena."  This brilliant young buck tells me, "Yo, like that dead singer?"  Like I've never gotten that before.  "Yes," I say.  "Like the dead singer."  "Yo, you look just like her."  Because I'm fifteen, new to a school, and desperate for friends I say, "I do?"  "Just like her.  Or that chick who plays her in the movie."  Jennifer Lopez.  Before J-Lo had her name abbreviated.  Before she was Jenny from the Block.  Before she dated a slew of men and became one of the sexiest baby mamas out there, this dude thought I looked like J-Lo.  And well, because I was fifteen, couldn't have any less curves than a ruler, no breasts to speak of, wore big Walt Whitman T-Shirts I bought from Barnes and Noble, and listened to Tori Amos on repeat, I say, "Thanks!" 

Then for the next three years, until I graduated school, this same boy would say to me every time we passed in the hall, "Hey, here's Celena!  The Dead Singer!"  Then he would proceed to sing, "If I Could Fall in Love with You."  Selena, the dead singer, the poor dead singer's song.  The poor dead singer's song that only got famous in the U.S. because of Jennifer Lopez, a rising star who had yet to have her name be abbreviated.  You can possibly see why I never went out on a date with the young lad.  And well, our conversations never transgressed by this unflattering exchange.  He never cared to discuss more than call me Selena, the Dead Singer.

So what is Drunk Little Asian rambling about anyway?  I have no idea.  Only that I think it's interesting that looks suddenly matter when needing a secretary.  But I suppose that's a naive thought.  Of course they matter.  Looks always matter to a certain degree.  I mean, if I ever showed up to an interview with my hair undone, in a flannel pajama outfit complete with bunny slippers, I doubt I'd be called back.  In fact, they'd probably have security just  escort me out the door.   In general, though, it's all in the eye of the beholder anyway.

I know for a fact that I do not and never have looked like Selena the poor dead singer or Jennifer Lopez.  But for some reason the dude in high school though of Selena and J-Lo when he saw me.  Mostly because he knew my name, that I had black hair and a dark complexion and thought, without really looking at me, without really seeing me, I looked like my name doppelganger  and my name doppelganger's actress.

Maybe that's what this CEO is looking for.  A quick yes or no to pic.  A quick way to glance someone over, make his impressions of these people that are desperate enough to apply to him.  I was desperate once.  Desperate enough to let myself be easily defined by someone that didn't even take the time to know me, to really see me, and to know that my name is spelled C-E-L-E-N-A.  Not S-E-L-E-N-A.

But not many people think that one single letter difference counts.  But it does.  And it's taken me awhile.  But I've learned that it's important to know your worth.  Beyond a picture.  Beyond first impressions.  Beyond looks.  And I'm not desperate enough to place myself in a situation where someone doesn't even take the time to really look at me and get to know the correct spelling of my name.