When women lie about rape

From the moment the Dominique Strauss-Kahn accusations hit the newswire, I had my doubts. Call me jaded but with the number of false rape claims against the rich and famous in recent years, it stands to reason that someone with a yearning for increased wealth but not a willingness to work for it might see the man as a target. Understand, I am not saying he isn’t a sleaze. DSK might very well be the human incarnation of Jabba the Hutt, but unless and until that is proven, he is a man falsely accused of a heinous crime – one that can destroy his personal and professional life. If the charges against him are, indeed, proven false, they can also destroy every inroad women have made to bring legitimacy to charges of rape and hamper the prosecution and conviction of actual rapists.

Lest you think that this article is written in defense of Mr. Strauss-Kahn, let me reassure you that this is not my intent. He is merely the foundation for a post on a far worse crime – treason. Women can and often are their own worst enemy. To unjustly accuse a man, any man, of rape out of greed, revenge or narcissism (those 15 minutes of fame can be very tempting) is detrimental to society as a whole and women in particular.

As an advocate for real victims of sexual assault, I find such tactics almost as heinous as the crime of rape itself. Why? By lying, women are further victimizing those who have already been victimized.  Lying corrodes the still shaky foundation that has been set in place to make society aware that rape is not about sex and that the victim is not – never, ever – at fault. Unfortunately, if just one woman is found to be lying, suddenly, all women lie! Chalk it up to the guilt by association mindset and the need to pretend that mankind does not prey on weak and vulnerable among them.

I often attend professional luncheons where I mention my work on behalf of victims of sexual assault. I also tell people that I am a member of a local Human Trafficking Coalition. Let me tell you that, if you want to clear a room quickly, all you have to do is mention these two dark clouds. Where, just two seconds before my announcement, all eyes were riveted on me, heads suddenly lower and an imagined loose thread or food stain becomes the focus of attention. Recently, I asked to be the designated speaker at a women’s luncheon. The moderator’s response, “Oh, I like to keep these events lighthearted. Can you put a happy ending on that topic?” My answer, “Sure, every time a woman doesn’t die, that’s a happy ending. I’ll only talk about the rape victims who live. How’s that?” Denial is a weapon that will bury us – sometimes literally -- time and again!

I would like to disassociate myself from the less honorable of the female gender, but I doubt that those who thrive on sensationalism will let me off that easily. So, instead, I acknowledge that not everyone’s motives are pure – humans are a mixed bag of honorable and dishonorable character traits, after all -- and I stand proudly in support of women who have known the horror of rape, giving them the encouragement they need and deserve.

You might be wondering why I feel so strongly about this issue. Forty years ago, I was one of those women. Four years ago, my daughter joined the sisterhood. If ever there was a club no one should aspire to join, this is it. Since women do not voluntarily apply for membership, those who are forced onto its roster need to hold strong against anyone who would undermine their progress. That includes other women who use the accusation of rape for their own gains.

Let’s adopt the battle cry, “From victimized to victorious – nothing less will do.” Only the truth will allow us to achieve that goal.