Anatomy of a Boutfit

Saturday night I had the opportunity to play with New England Roller Derby (NERD), a regional expo team made up of skaters from Maine, Connecticut, New Hampshire, Massachusetts, and Rhode Island. We played a 60-minute expo bout against Garden State (New Jersey) ... which we won by close to 30 points!

Since it's not my normal team, I had to get a uniform/boutfit together quickly. I figured I could take this opportunity to share with you the anatomy of a boutfit.

The Jersey: All the girls on the team were asked to wear a navy tank with a white undershirt. I decided to sacrifice this H&M button-up to the derby gods, since it's fairly see-through and thus unflattering for work.

Tights: a must for any boutfit. No matter how good you are, someone is going to knock you down, and when you skid across whatever surface you're playing on, you don't want to leave all your skin behind. This is also why, when I wear fishnets, I always wear a pair of tights underneath. You only need a horrible fishnet burn scar one time before you learn that lesson. I picked these blue and silver sparkly tights up from Target (my favorite spot for fun, cheap tights) for $5.00

"Skirt": I put skirt in quotation marks, because this glorified belt barely qualifies. I borrowed it from Killary Clinton, a fellow skater. What you can't see, which was an essential part of my boutfit, was a pair of red and white American Apparel underoos that covered my super-visible behind. But derby, like Halloween, is an opportunity to show off in ways you might not. Just take a look at our all-star travel team, The Boston Massacre, also known as "The Pantsless Militia." They choose to forgo pants entirely, and most just skate in tights and ruffled undies. Derby really is an anything goes kind of sport.

Arm bands: During a game, each skater has to wear their number on their upper arms so the refs can identify them for penalties. Usually your number gets written in permanent marker, which sucks because that doesn't come off for about three days. One of my teammates, Maude Forbid, made these arm bands for all the Wicked Pissahs, and they've saved us from painful scrubbing to remove indelible ink.

What you can't see in this picture, because it was taken post bout, are the wrist guards, elbow pads, helmet, mouth guard, and knee pads (although those are a bit visible) that are required of all skaters. Boutfits are fun, but safety first!