Yes, I Know How She Does It

I just got back from watching I Don’t Know How She Does It featuring Sarah Jessica Parker, Greg Kinnear and the always so dashing Pierce Brosnan. Although not the highest on my go-to movie priority list as there are lots of flicks out right now that I would rate above this tiny, chick flick, it was at the request of my 12 year old daughter that we go together; actually she wanted to treat me to see it which was both generous and quite thoughtful. 

About a month ago McKenna asked me if I had seen the previews. 

“Mom, Sarah Jessica Parker’s character reminds me exactly of you!” 

Hmm, I wonder… Which part?  The haggard looking, frantic, crazy mom part or the fact that she pulls off the haggard look wearing some killer Christian Louboutin shoes (cause I have been known to do that pretty well).  “Mom, she is a list maker just like you!”  Well, that is true.  That is a habit that started way before I even thought I would head down a path of being a haggard looking, frantic, crazy mom.  Lists are just what I do and without apologies after all there is so much satisfaction to checking something off a list.  This shared attribute combined with the character’s affinity for unconventional but irresistible designer shoes hooked me in and I agreed to set up a mommy/daughter movie date but on my dime, not hers.  In McKenna’s mind, she is honoring me by drawing the comparisons between Parker’s character and her hard working mommy.  In my mind, I know this will be reality charging right at my face from a 75 foot cinematic screen and McKenna will lose interest within 15 minutes of the picture starting.  I would much rather her save her babysitting money for a trip to Cold Stone Creamery when mommy is cash poor but PMSing and wallowing in puffiness.  That would be a win-win for both of us!

(movie spoiler alert)

The movie was what you would envision it to be with the affable Parker portraying Kate Reddy who juggles her high demand job and her two little rugrats all the while meeting each scheduling challenge with as little as a slight huff as her domestically sexy husband (Kinnear) takes it mostly in stride, filling in as the hands-on dad whenever needed.  His frustration, rarely revealed, is a grimace best compared to a wounded puppy dog.

During the movie, I began to think about Parker’s own personal life and how her character’s challenges were much more aligned with the life she enjoys as a movie star and not with mine.  People might look at someone like me who has three kids, works full time, manages the house and is actively involved in raising her children and say “I don’t know how she does it.”  For Parker and for Kate Reddy, I pretty much know. 

Full time help and a husband with a flexible gig is one way to do it.  Kate Reddy might have had guilt over missing her child’s first haircut due to an important meeting in Manhattan, but try managing the haircut of a tantruming child while breastfeeding in Supercuts?  That, my friends, trumps the guilt in terms of emotional drainage. 

Have to skip out on a holiday in the snow with your family in order to meet up with your sexy business partner?  Shit, try staying for the entire weekend with the in laws, snowed in and stuck with three restless kids who are on the verge of killing each other while your husband pretends he is consumed by a good book and can’t seem to help with the entertaining or the cooking.  This is the kind of stuff that earns you entry into the “I don’t know how she does it” club, not jetting off for a meeting and missing the chance to build a snowman.

I think most working moms will tell you that the easiest part of their day is being at work.  At home is where the work begins.  If you juggle both, then your plate is surely full.

Next time Sarah, portray a mom who does the carpool run in the morning, followed by an eight hour day at the office, two hours spent on the practice field then coming home to prepare dinner while helping with homework and running a load of laundry as well as the vacuum before playing mermaid Barbies in the bathtub, making lunches for the next day and concluding with Goodnight Moon.  Then we can truthfully say we really don’t know how she does it.