Stylish Girl

This morning I was sitting on my front porch with my four year old. We were having a tea party while rocking babies (my daughter is already a brilliant multi-tasker). She revealed to me that she no longer wanted to be a doctor. My heart quietly sank; after all, she was the only one of my three who had expressed an interest in such a prestigious occupation. As nonchalantly as possible, I dug deeper to find out why she would want to abandon her calling which she had held firmly to for the past 9 months. She replied that it would be too much work. Instead, she wants to be a “stylish girl.” My eyebrows raised in astonishment. No! I inwardly cried! YOU WANT TO BE A DOCTOR! YOU LOVE TO HELP PEOPLE! YOU LOVE STETHESCOPES! YOU CAN ALWAYS WEAR STYLISH CLOTHES UNDERNEATH YOUR WHITE COAT! 

She took a sip of her imaginary tea from her pink plastic princess cup, clearly unfazed by the whammy she threw me. I noticed her pinkie stretched out from the demitasse she held in her hand. Oh, it’s all my fault!   Sleeping Beauty and Cinderella movies have clouded her vision. Glittery dress up gowns have swathed up her drive to become the first doctor in our family’s history. While I do agree that being a “stylish girl” is fabulous, I hoped that her professional aspirations would reach higher than that.

Now, don’t think I’m an idiot. I know she is four, but we were headed on a great path! The most my eleven year old wanted to be at this age was a “paint nailer.” I felt that I…oops, I mean SHE had a shot!

“Would you like more tea mommy?” She offered. 

“Sure,” I said, still not ready to let this one go. “Honey, you know if you are a doctor you can still be a stylish girl.”

“No, they don’t wear pretty shoes.” Hmm, can’t argue with that. I don’t think I have ever run across a doctor with a nice pair of Jimmy Choos. They always make sensible choices. If they want to be role models, they really should up their game a bit. I’m not talking 5 inch heels, but at least something that doesn’t involve a black spongy sole.   Heck, even a pair of pink Uggs would have satisfied her and kept her on track.   

“It’s not all about pretty shoes honey.” Oh my God! Did I just say that? Of course it is all about pretty shoes! Is it my imagination, or did she just shoot me the “you are so full of shit” look? I keep trying. “You know, when you are a doctor, not only do you get to help people, but you also get to make enough money to buy all the pretty, stylish clothes you want. You just don’t wear them to work.”

“I want to wear stylish clothes all the time.” While she says this, she fixes her tiara resting upon her head. This may be a losing battle and honestly it is hard for me to argue this one. 

I find solace in the fact that she is a beautiful girl and if she intends on being a beautiful “stylish girl”, she could always marry a doctor. At least it will satisfy my personal goal to have one in the family.    We can always revisit the subject when she is 6. I think that is when McKenna finally abandoned her dream of paint nailing for becoming a teacher and after all these years, this one is still sticking. (Incidentally, her manicures are flawless, even the flowers!) 

As mothers, we want to guide our children. Sometimes, we want to direct or dictate, but the reality is that our role is to be the best role models we can and if we are, it will all play out as it is intended to be. We must support and we must listen. We must keep a firm grip on the reins and give pats for the achievements. We must bite our tongues sometimes and at other times, fire off. All in all, we must understand that our design is to merely be a catalyst for these beings we call our children, to grow into doctors, paint nailers or to assume any other path they choose.   And with pride, we will shine so long as they are happy.

My daughter and I enjoyed the rest of our tea time together until she grew tired of her yellow fluffy gown. She skipped back into the house and reappeared moments later in a polka dot bikini, and a pair of pink rhinestone heels. As I always say, her style is uniquely hers. Who knows? Maybe her fascination with fashion will place her among the ranks of Donna Karan or Miuccia Prada. I think I could work with that, after all I am a “stylish girl” at heart.