MICROSKIRTS
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viewsThe Skinny On Getting Back Into Skinny Jeans
By Dawn Maria, Monday, January 24, 2011, 4 commentsI washed my skinny jeans* a month ago and I can almost wear them again.
Men aren’t the ones with a shrinkage problem; newly washed denim shrinkage is a blight on all that skinny jeans stand for. Not being able to zip your skinny jeans doesn’t make you feel skinny. Or hot. Or ready to paint the town any color on a Saturday night.
I wait until it’s absolutely necessary before I wash my jeans. All women do this because we must. In my case, I’d acquired the maximum allowable number of food stains and was thus forced to throw them in the washer. The dryer is not a woman’s friend. Sure it makes our jeans super soft, but that “touch of stretch” retracts from heat with such force, an entire protocal is necessary before you can comfortably wear your jeans again.
Mine goes like this-
#1. Determine that the jeans must be laundered.
#2. Avoid washing the jeans for two more weeks, using the dryer and Bounce sheets for touch ups.
#3. Wash and dry the jeans.
#4. Hang them in your closet and ignore them for a week.
#5. Try jeans on to see if this is the time you can wear them fresh out of the dryer and still breath.
#6. Once you’ve stopped crying, hang the jeans up again. Ignore them for 2-5 days.
#7. Try and put them on again. If you can zip them this time, great. After you let your breath out, hang them up again. (If you still can’t zip them, repeat #6.)
#8. After a few more days, try the jeans on again (it’s important during this time to have your real outfit hanging nearby, ready to go). They will zip and you can move about the closet. Do this for two minutes. Even if they feel good, stop after two minutes and hang them up, they’re not ready.
#9. After another week has passed, try them on again. Rejoice in the ease of zipping them up. Walk out of the closet and around your bedroom. Release your breath and continue walking for ten minutes. Sit down on the nearest chair, just once, and stand up immediately.
#10. Repeat step #9 every two days, adding five minutes to the walking and sitting time to each session. When you can sit, breath and speak for ten minutes, your jeans are ready for regular wardrobe duties again.
I’m currently at #8, which was a great relief because I accidently did #7 while I was bloated. At this rate, I’ll get my jeans back in two weeks.
I have a pair of Hudson boot cuts I bought last June that I’ve never washed. I’m too frightened.
Maybe I should look into jeggings.
*My “skinny” jeans are actually J. Jill Slim Leg jeans, which offer more legroom in the calves. (Not only did I letter in high school track, I earned thick calves.)
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4 Comments
Love this. My skinny
Love this. My skinny jeans ripped at the fat part of my inner thigh. (Lovely.) And my muffin top was about to bust the button. So I decided to let them go to the jean graveyard. Love this!
GIRL
Jeggings are your friend. I lived in mine this fall—only problem is that it's harder to tell when you've gained a little weight. I went to put on my real (stretchy) GAP jeans and well... yikes.
So, jeggings in moderation!
Jeggings are our friend
It's so funny you posted about this topic. I just wrote an essay on skinny jeans last week. I have a few pairs of regular skinny jeans/pants, but jeggings are the best. I got mine from Tarjay and they feel like a million bucks :)
I LOVE this! Typically I'll
I LOVE this! Typically I'll put my skinny jeans on immediately after the dryer cycle. I'll do about 10 squats (in front of the mirror of course) then hang them up until I'm ready to wear them. Ahhh, the joys of being a woman!
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