Kids' Fundraising Drives-Who Really Pays the Price

It was a typical Brag/Bitch/Boast session and I feigned interest at an Oscar-worthy level. I had every intention of remaining silent until the parent said, “It’s crazy how expensive these activities are.”

 

I turned to her and asked, “Well, have you considered having you son get a job to help pay for some of the costs?”

 

How do I best describe the look I received in return? Horror? Mortification? Shock? Indignation?

 

How about all of the above.

 

You’d have thought I’d suggested her child be sent to build pyramids in a third world country without adequate sewage infrastructure in place. (Note, in a teenager’s mind, anyplace that can’t accommodate plugging in a flat iron is the third world.)

 

In over 17 years of parenting The Offspring have exposed me to the marvelous and costly world of school, church and sports fundraising. We’ve sold candy, candles, wrapping paper, cards, tickets to Scout-O-Rama and gift cards. We’ve solicited donations for canned food, volunteer hours, used clothing, iTunes gift cards and cold, hard cash. I’ve worked garage sales, carnival booths and PTA committees all in the hope of generating the needed funds to support the children. It goes with the territory of parenting.

 

It also seems to stop there. What’s happening more and more, is that kids are taken out of the fundraising equation. No one wants their child going door-to-door hawking candy bars to strangers. No one wants their kids stressed and competing to win mediocre sales prizes.

 

No one seems to want their child to understand that fun, learning and “enrichment” activities cost money. A lot of money.

 

Last week The Better Half and I attended a fundraising meeting for our Freshman son’s lacrosse team. The team Board has found a creative and simple fundraising plan that will hopefully raise enough money to fund kids who normally couldn’t afford to play lacrosse. In our state, lacrosse is a club sport, not an officially sanctioned high school sport, and the teams pay for everything- coaches, fields and referees. I love the idea of making the club more affordable and accessible.

 

I listened to the presentation with great interest. I heard all the details and expectations for the parents. What we had to do, how much time we had to commit and how much money we were expected to invest. While I heard about the children- “This is for them.”- I never heard what was expected of them.

 

When Q & A time arrived, I asked the question that silenced the room. “What exactly are the boys’ roles in this fundraiser? How are they contributing?”

 

Cue the crickets.

 

Bottom line? The kids aren’t expected to anything. If, as individual families, we want to include our sons in the planning, prep and implementation of the fundraiser we may do so. The team requires nothing from them.

 

While I appreciate the work involved to research and find this particular fundraiser, I feel like it’s yet another time where adults have pushed the kids aside to get a job done. 

 

Look, we all know it’s easier to get a job done by ourselves. How would you rather clean your kitchen? Alone or with your children’s help? Be honest. They whine, they don’t want to help, they don’t know how to do things right. Teaching them how to do something takes more time and energy than most of us have on any given day.

 

But...

 

How will these kids learn about hard work and sacrifice if we don’t give them even the most modest opportunity to work for something?

 

I think the cost for this is too high. Our son will be participating in the fundraiser, as will The Better Half and me. I don’t mind working hard for a good cause.

 

That’s what this is about- cause. If we blindly let our kids pursue every cause they’re interested in without an investment on their part (beyond desire) what’s the effect?

 

You all know the answer.

 

And that’s not a price I’m willing to pay.