Hooters, Hunks & My Husband's Pub Habits

Several years ago The Better Half and I went to a Phoenix Suns basketball game. Back then dining choices downtown were few and we ended up eating at Hooters (you know, the institution for owl conservation). On the way to the arena we overheard a father talking to his young son. The boy had a Hooters frisbee in his hand.

“Remember,” the father told his son, “tell your mother we found it.”

I’m reminded of that story this week because The Better Half announced he was meeting a former colleague for lunch at The Tilted Kilt (the institution for Irish cultural awareness). Normally this wouldn’t raise any issues, but I realized that he’s been to the Kilt at least three times in the past four or five weeks. First there were the NCAA basketball games that required consuming beer delivered by scantily clad waitresses. (“Gotta root for U of A,” he told me.) And let’s not forget St. Patrick’s Day. I’m convinced it’s his new favorite holiday, even though there’s not a drop of Irish blood in him or within miles of us.

So this got me to thinking, where are the spots for women to go for cultural and environmental awareness? Nowhere, from what I can tell.

Unlike men, women have only two choices for eye candy consumption. We can bake homemade cookies and deliver them to a fire station and pray for a respiratory event that requires attention, or we can head to a Chippendales and make complete asses of ourselves.

There’s nothing in between. No Hooters or Tilted Kilt for us. Why not I wonder? Couldn’t we have a bar called Balls female sports enthusiasts? Or Honey Buns for those fond of baking? 

All we want is a place to have a few drinks, laugh and oggle at the eye candy. Why hasn’t anyone tapped into this market?

I suspect the reason has to do with the differences between men and women. The thing is, if women are getting together for a girl’s night out, we generally don’t want to be reminded that men exist. We’re weary and worn out from their habits. Men,on the other hand, like to be reminded that hot, young women still exist, and they enjoy being served by them. 

Truth be told, my favorite place to go for eye candy is the Nordstorm shoe department. I can oggle and touch the wares without an single dollar bill leaving my pocket. I’m encouraged to try on shoes and feel the soft, subtle comfort of fine Italian leather against my naked skin. (Excuse me for a moment while I calm down...)

Aah... the Nordstorm shoe department is practically perfect in every way, save one-- there aren’t any refreshments. Think about this, Jimmy Choos, Malono Blahniks, tequila shots and hot wings!

Oh my!

A strong grassroots movement could make it happen. Who’s with me ladies?

I’ll have to finish this post later (though I can’t recall what it’s about), I’ve got work to do!