Parking Etiquette

With Black Friday quickly approaching, consumers tend to focus on...well, consuming. I’ve seen babies left in cars over shopping specials before--seriously, people, what good is it going to do if you get the perfect gift for your child, only to find that your child has been stolen?

Anyway, some people will never learn. For the rest of us, there is one very simple, considerate thing we can all keep in mind during the holidays to be more considerate of fellow shoppers: use basic parking etiquette.

There will forever be parking battles; two drivers facing off in an ultimate attempt to score the last/closest/least-shopping-cart-filled parking space of the lot. It’s unavoidable. Male shoppers are jerks or a-holes, and female shoppers are simply biotches or something less friendly.

Once you do score that parking space, however, keep these things in mind:

• If you park too close to someone else, they’ll probably either key your car or hit your car with their door anyway (intentionally or not).
• If you drive an SUV or a small sports car worth more than twice my salary, please don’t park it in multiple spaces.
• Many lots (such as the one at my local PATCO train station) offer oversize spaces for vans and SUVs. However, more than half of SUV drivers don’t use them--instead, they just take up a compact car space leaving no room for a regular sized vehicle to park next to them. Please be considerate and use a large car space when available.
  
• Return your shopping cart to a shopping car depository. Is it really that hard? Need I say more?
• If you can’t park it, don’t drive it. That means if you’re shopping in a city and you can’t parallel park, consider a parking garage. If you drive a large vehicle and you can’t park it, consider carpooling with someone who can.
• Don’t park in handicapped spots unless you are handicapped. Otherwise, you deserve the fine you’ll get as well as the guilt you deserve from making people like my old grandmother with bad hips and knees walk far.
  

These simple rules of etiquette are far less complicated than other brands of etiquette. The general rule is the golden rule. Yes, people are dumb, and yes, I have an unhealthy amount of cynicism regarding this topic...but in all seriousness, be nice, or someone will probably get hurt--especially if that someone happens to cross me in a parking lot!