She Huffed, She Puffed...She Rolled Her Eyes!

What in the world has happened to customer service? Is it a total bust? Is it completely extinct or just on some sort of really long vacation?

Seriously, everywhere I go these days, the people that are paid to be available to help customers are increasingly rude, totally inept, have the grammar of a baboon and the energy of a sloth on an oozing, sticky molasses tree! It's not just me either....many people I know or have come across have mentioned having the same problems.

Yesterday I took our dog - Trilby the Wonder Dog - to Petco for her monthly bath and grooming. My husband - Magic Man - had made the appointment the previous evening so they should have been expecting her. When I arrived with 80lb Wonder Dog in tow, the woman looked at me blankly, shrugged the enormous 'chip on her shoulder' and said, "nope, there's no appointment here for no dawg." Stunned, because she hadn't even looked down at the appointment book, where I saw Wonder Dog's name written clearly in black ink, I smiled bravely.

I said in a soft, trying-to-win-her-over, voice, "Are you sure? My husband made it last night." I wrinkled my nose cutely above my I'm-not-going-to-let-you-tick-me-off grin.

She rolled her eyes, grunted, and huffed, "Are YOU sure he actually made it and didn't just tell you he did?" She wobbled her thick neck at me.

Ha...Hahaha! I laughed stiltedly before saying with confidence, "I heard him make the call. Check your appointment book, I'm sure it's there." I looked down at the appointment book myself, confirming once again that Wonder Dog's name was written in at the 11am slot. It was, it was!

She smacked her lips together and raised her eyebrow at me, "well, there's no appointment for no dawg at 11."

I pointed at the appointment book and started to say, "I see her name right...." when she grunted and turned around putting her back to me. I stopped speaking and watched her as she moved with the speed of a legless, bleeding gazelle to the grooming room door. She pushed open the door and hollered at the groomer, "this woman says she has an appointment fer her dawg but there ain't no appointment."

The groomer hollered back, "Yes there is. It should be for Trilby. I took the call myself last night."

The legless, bleeding gazelle hobbled back over to me, and without so much as a glance down at the appointment book, says, "well, she says there is, so give me yer dawg. What's her name?"

"Trilby," I say.

"Huh?"

"Trilby"

"Whut....Shelby?" She huffs at me and shrugs the chip on her shoulder - it must be heavy.

"Trilby," I say again.

"Drawby?" She puffs at me and takes the pink leash from my hand.

My 10 year old son - Super Kid - loses patience with her and says, "TRILBY, TRILBY. T.R.I.L.B.Y. Trilby!"

"Oh, Trilby," she says as she rolls her eyes.

Fast forward a couple of hours - Petco calls to say Wonder Dog is clean and ready to come home. We trek back up there, eager to get her home.

We walk into the glassed-in, grooming lobby and the legless, bleeding gazelle is chatting it up in the back with the groomer and a third woman. They are talking and laughing about who knows what, when the hobbled gazelle looks over and sees me. She turns back to her conversation and continues talking!

We stand patiently, Super Kid and I. I tap my foot a little and glance at their wall clock. Super Kid leans on the edge of the counter.

The third woman looks out at us, makes eye contact, and continues the conversation.

We stand patiently, Super Kid and I. I bend down and lean on my elbows on the counter, putting on my best gee-I'm-bored-waiting-on-you look. Super Kid shoves his hands down in his pockets and says, "geesh, I know they see us."

The hobbled gazelle looks back at me again, makes definite eye contact to let me know she sees me and will be right with me, but turns back to her conversation.

We stand patiently, Super Kid and I. I think about Wonder Dog and how her 80lbs of furry mass is sitting on the other side of that door, crated and thinking she's forgotten about. Super Kid starts to hop from square tile to square tile across their floor.

The hobbled gazelle laughs. The sound is muted by the glass windows separating her thick neck from my waiting-to-strangle hands.

We stand less patiently, Super Kid and I. I look at the clock again and note that a full five minutes have passed since we first entered the grooming lobby. Super Kid bends over and stretches his back. He yawns. He frowns. He yawns again. He wrinkles his nose and says, "why aren't they coming out here? Trilby is stuck in that cage and needs to get out!"

The groomer turns around and sees us. She points to us and smiles at me. The gazelle turns to look at us, then turns back and CONTINUES talking! I am floored! I turn to walk out of the groomer's office and into the store area where I can hopefully find a manager over the age of 20. At that very moment, the hobbled, thick-necked, gazelle comes through the glass door and says laughing, "...and I told him I wasn't gonna make no lasagna fer him no more! He'd just ate his last dinner from my kitchen stove! Now, ain't that rude?"

Ah, well now, no wonder we had been ignored for so long. They were talking about lasagna! So, I said, "we're here for Trilby."

"Shelby?" She took on the un-animated look of a dead chipmunk.

"TRILBY," Super Kid says with some urgency.

"Oh," she huffed and rolled her eyes. "You have to pay first."

"Yes, but I need the order sheet to pay."

She rolls her eyes again and shuffles through the mess of paper on the desk. I spy the sheet on the left side of the counter and snap it up. "Here it is, I'll be right back."

I go off to pay - don't get me started on the 16 year old at the register that was finishing her essay and ironically wanted to know if I knew another word for 'ignore'! Uh, dismiss, disregard, neglect, fail to notice! She holds her index finger up at me in a just-a-minute sign and finishes another sentence on her essay. She finally checks me out and back to the groomer's lobby I go!

The hobbled gazelle with the thick neck and the dead chipmunk stare, rolls the chip on her shoulder as she takes my paid slip from my hand. She huffs and turns, she puffs as she opens the door and she rolls her eyes as she glances back at us!

I hear her talking to the Wonder Dawg(!) through the glass. "No, no sweetie, it's okay."

She brings out the Wonder Dawg and hands her to us.

I say, "thank you."

She grunts, and huffs a "yeah" at me.

Super Kid rolls his eyes at me.

She says in a voice dripping with honey and all things sweet, "bye bye, Trilby. You sure are a sweet dawg. Bye bye now, sweetie-girl."

I again say, "thank you."

She grunts and rolls her eyes!

AAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!