Skinny Bitch?...Not me!

Classic, hysterical Charlene humor! "Well if by light she meant lightheaded and by full of energy she meant so freaking hungry that you can feel your stomach turning itself inside out in search of food in other places inside your body making you shaky and jumpy – then yeah, I felt that way too." I'm still guffawing! :) "Trust Life's unfolding..."

Charlene,

While I read this I could hear you saying all this out loud and at a New Yorker's pace! This is one of your funniest blogs ever! And I hate when skinny women call others  a fat pig. I rememer those snotty beauties in HS who were so cruel to the rest of us. Well karma came home and now some of them are the fat pigs, but you did not hear me call them that! Look out Bradley! 

elizabeth

Sarcasm, just another service we offer. Aren’t you glad you asked?

Oh my goodness I laughed so hard at that line also! As I just finished a breakfast of scrambled eggs, a chicken biscuit, and iced tea :) (In my defense, I usually have oatmeal and a cup of green tea but I had my fasting glucose test this morning and NEEDED real food NOW.) Hmmm, do the dried cranberries in my usual bowl of oatmeal count as fruit for breakfast?

http://conversationswchristine.spaces.live.com

I have a REAL problem with the word "Diet."  I suddenly want Crisco and Chocolate and Carbs!  I haaaaaaaaaate that word and rebel greatly against it.  In fact, I've stated many times that it should be murdered.  And another thing, any woman that calls another woman a "Fat Pig" should get her ass kicked.  One thing we need to realize is that we are beautiful just the way we are whether we are a skinny bitch or a curvy bitch.  And by the way, girlfriend, you look puuuurfect just the way you are.  If I were a lesbian, I'd date you... HA HA XX

.....muchas gracia for many laugh out loud moments.  I needed that :) I am soooo with you:  any diet that frowns on alcohol should be used soley in prisons.

You are tooo funny!  You have me laughing at work... when I should be working.  So busted!  When are you going to write your first screenplay?!?!  xoxo

You know what I agree with you - hands down - eating fruit for breakfast - is like eating flavoured water, how is that going to get you through until lunch . . . bang on it Charlene ~ I think Brad'd be interested just the way you are!

Em, London

You are SO freaking funny, Charlene! I often write LOL, but seldom mean it. This time, I really did LOL, so thank you. In regards to dieting, I read up about the French diet (and no - that's not the name of a diet, but rather, a reference to how French people eat). In a nutshell, they regard food much better than we Americans, and aren't afraid of it. It's not a matter of WHAT they eat, but HOW they eat it. They eat whatever they want, but they do so slowly and appreciatively. Their portion sizes are smaller, but that's not a problem, as they don't inhale their plates. As a result, they're never hungry or feeling deprived, and quite skinny! Were you to suggest only fruit for breakfast to them, they'd laugh in your face! Thanks for the post, it was great! <3

Fruit for breakfast. I have fruit for breakfast- on top of my mini-wheats, right next to my homemake mocha that I could chew given the ten teaspoons of hot chocolate mix. Fruit for breakfast- now that's funny! BTW, at the Westlake Barnes and Noble (yeah- I'm throwing B&N under the bus)- they had a HUGE Skinny Bitch display on the way to the children's section. Lovely. Way to consider your store lay-out and customers. And no- I haven't read the book- so I'll go ahead and slam it. Could we please stop referring to women as bitches? Thank you.