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viewsEven Twitter Can't Cure my Writer's Block
By Charlene Ross, Monday, August 30, 2010, 8 commentsMy blogging brain has turned to mush. I am experiencing a serious case of writers block and cannot for the life of me think of anything worth writing about. I just spent an hour writing a story about my friend Linda* and her bitterness about her son being forced to play football on Yom Kippur because the opposing team refuses to change the Saturday game to Sunday because some members attend church. She pointed out that these families could go to church 51 other Sundays but expect the Jewish kids to play on Yom Kippur, the one holiest day of the entire year. As Linda told me this story last night she had me howling in hysterics when she spoke of how she would let her son play, root obnoxiously against the other team, cheer extra loud when her son’s team beat the other team’s ass, and then go straight home and pray for forgiveness. It was so funny when she told me, but the 500+ words I wrote about it just fell flat. Maybe it had something to do with the sangria.
I could write about Back to School and how I am totally unprepared for it and how crowded it was at Costco and Target on Sunday with everyone else in the same need-to-get-school-lunch-food-and-school-supplies-boat.
Yawn.
I decided to check out the social media guru Mashable and see what the top 10 Twitter topics of last week were. I’m hopeful that something will inspire me and I’ll get some extra hits to my post as a bonus.
Here are the top ten Twitter topics of the week: football, Scott Pilgrim vs. The World, Miss Universe, Inception, Brazilian politics, Australian election, Chilean mining disaster, Kat Stacks, Twitter, Big Brother UK.
Crap.
Okay…hmmm…well…
Football – I do enjoy watching football. And I especially enjoy drooling over a hot quarterback. I think Mark Sanchez is pretty dreamy, but as much as I love the young guys, and the Latin guys (and I do, love both, so much) I still pick Brett Farve to captain my fantasy football team if you know what I’m talking about.
Scott Pilgirm vs. The World – haven’t seen it, but it looks really funny. This is what my husband and I call a “good for cable movie”. (Sadly that would be about 99% of the movies out there since we’ve had kids and the cost of hiring a babysitter prohibits us from doing something in public that we can do in our own home 6-9 months later.)
Miss Universe – don’t even get me started on freaking beauty pagents. Let me guess, the winner is a straight A college student, a champion for world peace, and just happens to look like a genetic freak, uh I mean super model in a bikini.
Inception – see Scott Pilgrim vs. The World. Replace the word funny with the word good.
Brazilian politics – apparently there is a general election that will take place on Oct. 3, 2010. Dilma Rousseff and Tiririca are the most tweeted-about of candidates. I am behind on watching the Daily Show with Jon Stewart and The Corbert Report so I don’t know how I feel about either of these candidates and am sadly not planning a trip to Brazil any time soon so I have nothing to say about that.
Australian elections - On Saturday, August 21st, Australia held an election to decide on the next Prime Minister. Results were split 50/50, resulting in a "Hung Parliament," the first in decades. Uh, see above and replace Brazil with Australia. Although I could make some jokes about the term “hung parliament” and how that is something I might like to see!
Chilean Mining disaster – there is nothing the least bit funny to write about this so I will just say that my prayers are with those miners and their families.
Kat Stacks – uh, who? A few clicks to iGoogle has informed me that she is a groupie who sleeps with rappers and then video blogs about it. Sigh…I would love to make smarmy comments about this but the mother bear in me says that instead I should be saying a different kind of prayer for her.
Twitter – one of the top ten most tweeted about topics on Twitter is Twitter? What do people tweet – hey y’all, I’m on Twitter! These people's Twitter block is even worse than my writer's block.
Big Brother UK – because I don’t watch that show (you know, living in the US and all…) I Googled Big Brother UK and this photo popped up.
Damn! Is that show available in the US? And if so can I start watching it right away?
I think I’ve just proven that when it comes to what people are talking about, I’m not really in the know. It might have been better if I’d stuck to my normal topics of flirting with waiters (ah, it’s been so long since I’ve done that), my obnoxious children (so ready for them to go back to school), or my mild obsession with Bradley Cooper (finally saw the A-Team at the bargain movie theatre and have to say the combo of that smile and the many, many scenes of him without a shirt made that ridiculous script completely worth it – yeah, we’ll be owning that one on DVD!)
I write my Monday blogs on Sunday morning (instead of going to church). Maybe I should have waited until after the Emmy’s to write this so I could have written about the awesome Glee-inspired opening number, my love of Tina Fey and Jane Lynch, that incredibly ugly dress Lauren Graham wore (what was that exactly?), and how awesome January Jones’s hair was. (How do I get my hair to look like that?)
This dress is so not working for me! 
I want that hair!Please say a prayer to the writing gods above that my muse returns and my writer’s block goes far far away. We’ll try again next Monday.
To find out if Charlene also has Twitter block Follow Charlene Ross on Twitter
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8 Comments
I feel you pain. just got off
I feel you pain. just got off my writer's block train not too long ago.
found this in a ebook baout wirters' block and I hope you like it also:
For the majority of writers, writer’s block comes from one thing:
FEAR. Many writers claim fear, once managed, helps them produce
their best work. I don’t think so. If fear drives you into the arms of
courage, and courage into the arms of inspiration, then fear has done its job.
Hope it helps and just keep writing! xoxo elizabeth
A Good Laugh
I think your writer's block has officially evaporated! This post was funny and a good start to a Monday morning.
I learned a few things such as Mashable (will have to check that out) and how I better stick to just trying to understand US politics and not Brazil's or Australia's.
And, thank you for the lovely eye candy of Bradley Cooper and that Big Brother UK image.
:-) marcela
Thank you!
I was the sole supporter of January Jones' hair in my house last night. I thought it looked great! But the dress was tragic, indeed.
I want her hair, also! That
I want her hair, also! That looks great. And the story about football on Yom Kippur sounds great - hopefully you saved it and can still submit it for us!
~C...even with writer's
~C...even with writer's block, you shine....xx k
I often have blogs that I
I often have blogs that I start writing but that don't end up being as funny or as interesting as I thought they would be .... the difference is that I still post mine ;-)
I hate writer's block, but
I hate writer's block, but they say once you've contracted it, do what you've already done...write about it! Looks to me like you've done a delectable job.
There's also free-writing. You know, letting your fingers go at warped speed across the keyboard without stopping for 15 minutes - not even for a typo - in the hopes that something - ANYTHING - useable will pop up. Sometimes that works for me, but I'm too much of a perfectionist, and can't help but stop to fix my errors.
And I'm with you on 'Big Brother' UK. I'm SO with you on that one. :)
I loved this!
I loved this!
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