Whose Life Is It Anyway?

Tuesday 3:30
I’m sitting outside by the pool, it’s in the high 70’s–picture perfect weather.  It feels so good to be out here.  It’s about time.  Summer is over and this is the first time that I’ve come out here on a weekday.  How is this even possible?  I basically missed the whole summer.  Where was I?  Inside working of course.  I don’t know what shifted in the last year since I started this business but I can tell you that I never thought I would end up like this.

Let me start by saying I have always been a Queen in the self care department.  Always.  When I had my last full time job, I went to the gym at lunchtime every day, took yoga classes on weekends, made fabulous salads that I brought to work, made sure to take breaks to go outside during the day, and went for bodywork on a regular basis.   I always took care of myself.  It was just the way it was.  I didn’t consider it an effort it was just my life!  And now…

Oh how the mighty have fallen.

I spend the day in a pair of stained sweatpants, hair in a dirty pony tail on the phone with clients or at the computer, papers and books thrown all over the office;  I barely get to the gym and yoga classes are a distant memory.

Where did it all fall off?

I started out earlier this year with a great plan:  The Year of Feeling Awesome.  Great idea.  Worked for a while–but clearly–not. working. now.

From what I can see, I’ve gone from being a coach to being a small business owner.

The Coach…eats organic and whole foods and tries to maintain a commitment to a 70% raw food diet
The Business Owner….eats a lot of cheese.

The Coach...gets to the gym or a yoga class five times a week.
The Business Owner…hasn’t left the chair in front of computer between the hours of 8am  and 7pm for the last week except to walk the dog.

The Coach…takes breaks during the day in the nice weather and either goes outside to work or takes a walk to clear her mind.
The Business Owner…has no idea what it’s doing outside because she’s been staring at a computer screen for 10 hours straight.

The Coach…gets dressed in the morning, puts on make-up.
The Business Owner…takes a shower every couple of days, tries to remember to brush teeth before sitting down to the computer, has been wearing the same pair of stained sweatpants and oversize t-shirt for the last five days straight…

What do you think of this outfit?  It’s the one I wore all last week…I was going for correctional facility chic.

I hear horror stories on the blogs from other people who work from home about dishes piled up in the sink for months, eating nothing but take out and fast food, giving up the gym totally, being in pajamas all day, sitting in your own stink….

Not there yet but if I don’t do something soon…

I really need to sit down, regroup and come up with a plan.  I’ve let my business ride rough shot right over me and I have to take back control. But first I’m going to say–Yay me, for working hard and being committed to building my biz.  No harm in that.  I just need to balance it better, and since that’s what I teach other people to do it looks like it’s just a matter (as it so often is) of “taking my own medicine”  and it’s not even Monday.  Oy,  more work, more consciousness, more deliberate action….  A new plan needs to happen.  I’ll get back to you as soon as I figure out what it is.  As always, feel free to share your situation here–I know I’m not the only one!

originally posted at www.freedomandfulfillment.net

© 2010 Cathy Wilke