Not Even a Trip to Walgreen's is Safe

A couple of days ago I had to run over to Walgreen’s to get some toothpaste (we were totally out).  Of course the line for the register was a mile long and while I’m waiting I spot the Resses Big Cup out of the corner of my eye.  You see, a full isle of candy is not enough at a drug store--they’ve got to have additional candy lining the registers.  

Do you know this product?  It’s a bigger deeper version of the Reese Peanutbutter cup and you can’t find it in that many places.  It’s the one that I used to buy right before I got on the train to go home and I wanted sugar to medicate the misery of feeling trapped in a job that I didn’t want to go to.

I liked the big cups so much that I didn’t want to bother with the regular Reeses any more.  Good news for me because I got to take the regular Reeses off the list of “foods that called my name.”  OK, not too many foods, just sweets.  Anyway, less chances for me to be tempted by peanut butter cups.

Back to the long line at Walgreen’s
So while I’m in line I’m thinking:  "yes, I could get the big cup.  But do I want to open up that doorway, because once that happens"...well, if you’re an eater you know what I’m going to say next and if you’re not you’ll think: what’s the problem with having a piece of candy?  For all of us who struggle with food, there’s no such thing as one piece of candy and even if there were, there’s an emotional price to pay that actually destroys any pleasure that would have been gotten by eating said candy.  I’ll just leave it there.

So there I am in the long line just going back and forth in my head about whether or not to eat the peanut butter cup.  Just so you know, as I’m doing this I’m not touching the  peanut butter cups, I’m not even looking at the peanut butter cups--just staring into space--not in the direction of the peanut butter cups! and listening to my inner monologue. 

I get up to the counter and I see there’s a clear plastic bin of regular peanut butter cups next to the register--I immediately avert my eyes and then the guy behind the register says..."WOULD YOU LIKE A REESES PEANUT BUTTER CUP?"

 I stood there for 20 seconds, staring at him, trying to make some sense of the fact that a total stranger just read my mind.  "Wait a minute, what did you just say?"  I thought that I was having some kind of auditory hallucination.

How did he know what I was thinking?  Oh my God, this is so weird.  OK Now I’m scared.  So he repeated himself: "Would you like a Reeses peanut butter cup today, they’re only 50 cents."

“Really?  Believe it or not, I spent the entire time on this line trying to talk myself OUT of having a Reeses Peanut butter cup. Now you’re asking me if I want one?  Are you kidding me?  He says “well I think it’s fate,” And I say, I think it’s annoying.  Then I tell him “of course I want it, but I’m not going to have it.”  He thinks this is funny.  Me, not so much.

So now, not only do I have to see the stuff everywhere and resist it, but I’ll be having my willpower double checked by store clerks at Walgreen’s asking me if I really want candy.

What’s next?
Filling up at the gas station and the attendant running out with a Haagen Daz ice cream bar?
Soft serve at the supermarket?
Free buttered popcorn at the movies?

I ask you, is there no where that’s safe?

originally posted on www.freedomandfulfillment.net/blog

©2010 Cathy Wilke