What to Expect When You're Getting Married

Less than 72 days away from becoming Mr. and Mrs.

 

When I picture walking down the beach aisle to my HUSBAND (hehe) my stomach drops…in a good way! I’m floating a bit and can feel this bursting sensation coming from my heart. Months ago I read through the Officiant’s rough draft of the ceremony. When I got to the part where we exchange rings, the lump in my throat showed up and my eyes got teary. There it was on paper, the two of us becoming husband and wife!

 

So many things will change besides my last name. There’s settling into a new city. Finishing graduate school and weaving our way through careers. Adopting our first puppy. Having a handful of joint bills and a savings account. One day, a family.

 

Will I feel any different? Will I look different? Can someone “look” married? Is it more of an attitude or a vibe?

 

As I take a few moments to gaze into the future, I wonder what exactly will change in our relationship and what will more or less, stay the same. It’s hard to tell right now, but it’s exciting to think about.

 

Really, think about it. Two people meet. They fall in love. They support each other through tragedy and triumph. The person you choose to spend your life with knows your quirks, your mistakes, your regrets, your deepest secrets. They admire your flaws or the wacky things that make you unique. This person knows those magic words to make you smile or they don’t have to say anything at all sometimes to get what you’re thinking. it's what they do or don't do that far surpasses any words. It’s a deep connection like no other. (I can't imagine what it feels like to have kids. I hear that's an entirely different connection!)

 

When it comes to marriage, scratch that – when it comes to my marriage – I want to believe that our connection will only strengthen in time. Of course there will be issues, disagreements, maybe even a night or two with him on the couch (we’ve had that…I tried going on the couch but my fibromyalgia and Randy wouldn’t let me), I don’t live in LA-LA land, but at the end of the day, there will be love and two people who want to nurture and care for each other.

 

I believe love deepens and grows over time between two people who create a solid foundation. I also know that going into marriage, no one hopes for failure. No one wants addictions, divorce or infidelity or any other awful thing that you don’t think about early on, if at all.

 

I also believe that the core of a person is what it is – no matter what. After dating a handful of duds, I realized that a person should never allow themselves to idealize someone else. Those duds were perfect studs to someone else, just not for me.

 

Circumstances, now those can change. Money, weight and taste are things that come to mind. You can make more money or less money and you can gain and lose weight. (I can look at ice-cream and it manages to make its way to my ass). You can change your taste in music, art, fashion; decorating your home…you get what I mean. Life is all about choices.

 

Recently on a trip to Texas, his family teased him for always opening the door for me before we get into the car or walking me to the door every morning before I would leave for work. “Oh yeah, that will change. You’ll see.” What's funny is that those are just a few of the thoughtful things he does. Part of me doesn’t want to believe that these thoughtful gestures will go away because of LIFE or having kids. The fact that my husband to be is a Southern gentleman is one of the many reasons I fell in love with him.

 

It’s not even really about a door. It’s about a person consistently demonstrating an awareness of me and who is making the effort to be kind and loving. Ahhh, awareness. Every woman wants their partner to be aware of them, right? Who really enjoys not being seen or heard? Who, at the end of the day, is happy just exisiting with someone?

 

 So what to expect? We will just have to see…I am really excited about beginning this journey!