Chew On This

As my summer cleanout continues, I came across an old notebook...okay, maybe not that old. Maybe the notebook was from late April and maybe I was on the train. Yes, I was on the train. I was on my way home from work. I was also trying to think of what to write about, other than the usual.

I thought about taking the most mundane activity that I don't think anyone would talk about and turn it into a "deep thought." Remember Jack Handy on SNL with his deep thoughts? And we all know how great Seinfeld is for observing life and poking fun at the everyday.

Here's mine...I hope you laugh a little :)

This is what I wrote:

I like chewing gum. The mint stings my nostrils in such a way that I feel clean and calm. I can take on any project, any task, any challenge, any opportunity with some minty freshness in my mouth. Sometimes, and this is between you and me, I take two pieces instead of one. Do you believe it?

I read. I walk. I talk to people and...I listen ALL WHILE chewing! Incredible. I especially enjoy making phone calls and blow bubbles when the music comes on. If there isn't any music available, I decide to hum a little. Pop, pop, pop goes my gum. Ah, it's good to be me. Me and my gum, just having this moment.

I love to share. What fun is chewing gum unless you can't offer your buddies any? It would be selfish not to and thank god for gas stations. I can stalk up anytime I want. Oh, I'm thankful.

Sadly, all good things come to an end. My jaw begins to tire. The flavor fades. I didn't sign up for this. Now my gum is annoying. What happened to the color? Is that a piece of carrot stuck in my gum? Oh no, I did not sign up for this.

Now I have nowhere to throw my gum away. I try to ignore it. Oh, this is getting difficult. I have to wait to spit it out. Who created gum? I want to call them up and give them a piece of my mind! What were they thinking trying to trick innocent people who just wanted to add a little skip to their step?!

And then a moment of clarity. A moment of hope. The sun shines down on me and I know what I have to do.

Mints. I'll try mints instead.