Can you tell I've been to the South Carolina coast? I'm throwin' howdy, y'all, and BBQ like nobody's business! Miss me much? Sorry for the absence, but it was MUCH needed, you know what I mean? I'm sure I can't be the only one that gets tired of the ...

So far: 1. The fat rolls right under my ass lump are the color of a Nathan's hotdawg, y'all! (Imagine naked bathing suit against a lobster colored sky. That's me.) The sun is vicious! To make matters worse, Leo's FRONT is torched. Put my back with...

I have so much to say, and so little time..... we are leaving today for a festive week at the beach with the spawn AND the pentecostal grandparents. This means that all alcoholic beverages will be pulled from a secret cooler hidden in the garage and ...