The question of the pole

I have befriended a young woman at work, an Emory student, who is very pretty and though different than me-we are quickly becoming very close.

We were drinking a couple of beers after eating a sushi bar and talking about our lives and everything we wanted to accomplish when she said something that damn near made me fall out of my seat.

"I want to make more money than a stripper. No I better make more money than a stripper" she said to me.

I looked at her baffled. I couldn't believe what came out of her mouth.

" Why are you comparing yourself to strippers?'" I asked.

It's not that I think stripping is wrong. Honestly, I can't come to a conclusion about the profession, but what bothered me is a student, a young Black woman who could be anything she wanted to be would compare herself to a stripper. I went on to explain to her that she could study medicine and make way more than a stripper or even become a lawyer and make more than as stripper.

"I don't want to do that though," she said.

"So you just don't want to put in the work," I retorted.

I explained to her that Michelle Obama was a successful lawyer asked her why wasn't she comparing herself to Tyra, Oprah, Michelle or thousands of very successful Black women who don't have to take off their clothes for money. It broke my heart to hear her defend what she considered to be an easier route. They get money and houses bought in their name, they get cars bought for them and everything. I explained to her being tempted to be a stripper was akin to a man being tempted to sell drugs. It is fast,easy money  and in the long run better come with a great savings plan and an even better Plan B. The problem is that a profession that is leaving women at the mercy of men and their money is becoming glorified. It looks easy, fun and men love strippers, right!

This isn't the first conversation I've had with the young people lat my workplace regarding strippers and it bothers me they believe in order for a Black woman to make great money she has to shake her naked rear end on a  pole. I realize I am in Atlanta and the strip club culture is dominate in the South, but something has to give. It is a shame that in our country where people have died for Blacks to receive educations, especially in the South,  young people actually say "It doesn't pay to go to college."
 

I am bothered by the message that a Black woman with determination, beauty, brains and chutzpah can only offer the world her naked body on a platter to be used, gawked at, mocked and degraded. It bothers me because I am a Black woman and when I hear another young Black woman talk about all the benefits of stripping it makes me wonder is my life and the lives of Black women who took a different route in vain? Is the reality of being a Black woman so grim that our young women see stripping as the best option?

These are questions I am asking because I believe our community isn't asking them enough. When did sexual ability, exhibition and greed take place of love, education and dignity? Our young women are comparing themselves to video hos, strippers, baby mamas and side chicks when they should be comparing themselves to First Ladies, mountains movers and queens. The worst part of it all is we have no one else to blame but ourselves.

People can blame the media, but in reality we all know that is just an excuse. Women hear the praise of strippers at home, the stories about all the money they make comes from the kitchen, the beauty shop and the streets. They see the successful men in their foreign cars blowing money on exotic dancers who go home and mistreat their wives on a daily bases. Then they feel the sting of successful Black women that have made it in various fields  use their advancement as an excuse to not care or look down on those who need them the most. The entire situation would make stripping seem very appealing

 And while it may be the male fantasy to have women walking around in the nude. It’s not OUR fantasy.  And while strippers do make a lot of money for a season, it may benefit us to stand up for what is going to save our lives-which may mean telling our young women  they can be anything they want to be and make as much money as they want without getting on the pole.