You Want an. . .Apology???

Why?

Because Tiger Woods took a few minutes yesterday to apologize to his family, friends and fans over. . .what? His behavior. 

And I feel miserable for his wife.

And I feel miserable for his children. . .once they are old enough to Google their daddy's name. 

And I feel miserable for his mother.

And I feel miserable for the rest of us because the news will NOT allow this man to carry on his private life.

Since the beginning of this whole mess, certain members of the media SCREAMED for and DEMANDED "a statement."

Friday, he gave his statement, but news agencies were in an uproar over not being allowed to ask questions.

And if I thought, for one second, that any of the news outlets were going to ask him INTELLIGENT questions, I would agree. You don't gag-order the press, damn it!

However, the subject of this issue doesn't lend itself to classy, intelligent questions related to a possible return to golf. I bet you a dollar that someone would've asked something nasty and distasteful. He doesn't deserve that from the press. . .(although he DOES deserve it from his wife. She should be allowed to ask him any questions she wants to know the answer to. . .)

I am not here to defend his actions. The man was a disgusting pig and totally dishonest with his wife. And let's face it, if all of the women who claim to have bedded Mr. Woods, he also put his wife at risk for disease. I'm not saying that any of his . . .ahh. . .(I can't call them mistresses. Being a mistress implies a station of being "kept. . .") bed-wrestling-buddies are "diseased women." But let's face it, in the throes of passion, was everyone always protected, 100% of the time? WAIT! STOP! DON'T ANSWER THAT QUESTION. I don't want to know. The only people who really need to know the answer to that question are the people actually involved.

Look, I understand that public perception has become "If you are a celebrity, WE own you." I understand that some people feel that if you are a fan and thereby contribute to that person's fame, their standing in society or their ability to make a buck, then you are a shareholder in their lives.

I'm here to tell you that this way of thinking is unequivocally in-f**king-correct. It is an arrogant way of thinking. 

If you supported Tiger Woods throughout his career, then you've ALREADY been given what you are owed: GOOD GOLF.

If you supported that douche-bag, John Mayer or Mel Gibson or Kobe Bryant or Isaiah Washington or any other singer or actor or actress or sports figure that has put his or her foot in their mouths, you've ALREADY been given what you are owed: THEIR WORK PRODUCT.

These people do not OWE the general public anything. They do not owe it to us to conduct their lives in a manner in which we deem morally fit. They are not responsible for the needle in our compass of right or wrong. (The second my step-son tells me "Well. . .Tiger Woods did it. . ." I will do my job as a pseudo-parent and punish him until he sees the light.) They are not beholden to us to deliver anything other than what they were created to do: play sports; sing songs; act. 

That being said, if a sports figure/movie star/actor does something, in your opinion, that is morally reprehensible, then simply stop supporting him or her.  No one was forcing anyone to LIKE Tiger Woods before his secrets came to light. No one is going to force you now. But do you really need to see the man BLEED?

I do not believe that Tiger Woods owes me an apology. I do not believe that he owes anyone but his WIFE, his MOTHER, his CHILDREN and whatever holy entity he may or may not believe in an apology. And perhaps, he owes himself one as well. For to behave in such a manner is not respectful of oneself. Hey, I understand that people do that kind of thing EVERY. DAY. Not just ego-inflated celebrities and politicians (Hear that, Mark Sanford?), but regular people. . . people who are missing something in their lives; people who feel bored or empty or are looking for something they can't quite identify. For as many people who cheat, there are as many reasons as to WHY someone is cheating. But when you let the excitement of the thought of it all fall away, one has to realize that whether you're the married cheater or the unmarried paramour, you're doing a huge disservice to yourself as a person by accepting less.

Obviously, not everyone thinks this way. 

Now, before you read any further, I want you to understand that I am usually on "the woman's side." I'm usually the one screeching about PIG MEN and their abuse towards women. But after reading the statements these two clowns have made. . .honey, I've got something to say. And it's my blog. So I can say what I want to:

Joslyn James was, according to her (and I have to say that, because Tiger Woods has yet to confirm or deny relationships with specific women), one of Tiger's most "long term" mistresses. And apparently, Tiger's apology  isn't good enough for her.

In an E!Online "news" article (I say "news" loosely . . . because E! is really nothing more than a gossip site that I go to in order to read Ted Casablancas' Blind Items and Kristen Dos Santos' t.v. show updates. . .) states that Ms. James says:

"I would be open to a telephoned apology from Tiger but I really feel that I deserve to look at him in person, face to face, in the eyes because I did not deserve this." What didn't you deserve? Are you not just as guilty as being a lying, sneaking thief of affection as he is? What? Did he ABDUCT you and FORCE you to do things you didn't want to do? If he did, that's called rape and it's against the law. Call a cop. 

In addition to saying that she felt the apology "felt fake" (ahem) she feels that Tiger is selfish. DING! DING! DING! DING! WHOA! HOW PERCEPTIVE YOU ARE, MY LITTLE MINX. You mean to tell me that the MARRIED MAN you became involved, KNOWING he was married, with is SELFISH? Why? Because people who cheat are selfless, martyring individuals who care so much for the rest of the world that they offer up their sexual services to the lonely? I. DON'T. THINK. SO.

Her lawyer, Gloria Allred, said that although Tiger has caused her client "much emotional stress," she was not planning on filing a lawsuit.  

WELL GOLLYGEEWILIKERS! NO LAWSUIT OVER A BROKEN HEART? Pfffft. Betch, pleeeeeze. If every one of us women out here sued every man who broke promises and our hearts, we'd all be rolling dough. Are you kidding me? Suing a man for emotional distress because he dumped you? Or is it because he publicly embarrassed you? Well guess what: 1) I doubt you'd even HAVE a lawyer if Tiger was, instead, a carpenter and 2) you wouldn't be enduring this "public humiliation" if you'd choose to tastefully keep your trap shut. I mean, really, why come forward? What, in your heart, is there to REALLY gain from all of this yammering? Money, right? It's the money and notoriety. Because if you were really hurt or if you felt you needed some REAL "closure" (Gag. Hate that word.) on the entire deal, then you could've handled this in so many other ways. You could've sent his wife a letter of apology. . .or sent Tiger a letter pointing out the promises he made and how he broke your heart.

It doesn't appear that any of these women are looking to soothe their aching souls. It appears that they're looking to stuff their pockets.