Writer Series: Interview with Stephanie Dolgoff

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Since there are so many incredible women writers on skirt.com, we are doing a series of interviews with successful female authors from all genres to inspire the skirt! nation to write their hearts out. We're hoping an insider's view of the writing process will help you in your own endeavors.

Stephanie Dolgoff is a contributing editor at Parenting. She has been a contributing editor at Real Simple, health director and features director at SELF magazine, and prior to that, executive editor and senior contributing editor at Glamour. She’s written for “O” The Oprah Magazine, Fitness, Health, Parents, Redbook, Seventeen, CosmoGirl, Ladies Home Journal, Prevention, American Photo, and many others. For five years she authored a monthly sex column for teens, Ask Anything, for the now defunct YM magazine. Her articles have also appeared in the New York Times and the New York Post. Her first book, My Formerly Hot Life: Tales from the Other Side of Young has already been on the New York Times Best Seller List.

She started a blog called "Formerly Hot" in 2008 after her sudden realization that she was no longer, ahem, young.

"I had crossed a line into strange, uncharted life territory, one in which I no longer felt like me," she says. "I joked to friends that I was "formerly hot," and clearly I struck a nerve. There are many women like me, bitchslapped into a new category of person: adult "tweens," not quite middle-aged, but no longer our reckless, restless, gravity-defying selves."

We asked her about her book, writing process and how to turn a blog into a book:

Which came first, the blog or the book?

"I wrote Formerly Hot last summer. I began the blog in the fall of 2008 and within a few months I had some agents interested. The stories just poured out of me. That's the best kind of writing. The blogs come out practically whole right off the bat. The blog was more of an outlet for me. I mean, magazines are great and they have a very responsive community, but it's not 'your' message per se. I needed a message that resonated with me. I wanted to laugh at it because there is so much fear in getting older."

What women do you admire that are aging gracefully?

"I tend to favor people who aren't going out and partying still. I appreciate the women who look happy. People who don't seem to take themselves too seriously. Halle Berry and Julia Roberts. They don't seem like they're in a panic about anything. They seem happier now then a decade ago. Not so much in a physical way, but enjoying every moment of their lives. Julia Roberts seems good with who she is. I also think Brooke Shields has that relaxed and at-peace beauty. There is a time in your life when you're worked up about all the things you can't change and they've moved past that." 

You have twin daughters, what is the message you hope they get out of this book?

"For little kids, getting older is a joy. All they want to do is get older. All the cool things happen when you get older, right? Why does that have to change? My message to them is there is something awesome about every age. You shouldn't feel like doors are closing for you because you're getting older."

When did you have time to write a book, being a mother, a wife and a full time freelancer?

"Nights and weekends baby! I'm pretty efficient. What's that saying, 'Give a busy woman something to do, and it gets done?' She's already there, so it won't make much of a difference. I think when it comes to writing, your brain has to be functioning at a certain level for it to be good. If I wake up and realize, today is not going to be a good writing day, I just turn it into a research day. I interview someone. I take a break. I let myself off the hook. To sit at your computer for hours when it's not clicking, that's just a bad move. I know in about an hour if it's not going to happen today. So I give up and do something else. I can always write for something else."

Where did the idea for Formerly Hot come from?

"What I've learned in writing for women's magazines for so long is that if something is happening to you, then it's probably happening to millions of women out there. My friends and I were talking about it and then when I put the idea out there, women loved it. It is very gratifying to write something and have people say 'How did you get in my head?' That makes me happy."

Have videos helped your blog or get the message of your book out there? You have a lot of funny videos about this subject on your site and YouTube.

"I think the videos helped a lot. For this medium and this purpose, they make sense."

Is it hard to write humor? The book is really funny.

"I've always written some humor in my magazine articles. Even though they are reported. First person writing is funnier in general for me. People say, your book (and blog) is so self-indulgent, well of course it is! That's the medium."

How do you handle criticism as a writer?

"My first major criticism I received, she hadn't read the book. She had only read the article in the New York Times. I thought, 'Oh well. That's life!' The title is tongue-in-cheek. She thought I was being part of the profle saying older women aren't hot. She said I was buying into what I was poking fun at. I just realize people are either going to get it, or they're not going to get it. I deal with critics with humor. They may say I'm so vain. I laugh and say, 'Yeah, I'm a little bit vain. But I can't be the only one,'" she says with a laugh. "I'm not pretending it's not an issue that we're getting older."

Who are some of your favorite non-fiction writers?

"I like Nora Ephron's candor. She's from a different generation. I also love Anne Fadiman."