Valentine's Day : Ugh

I can feel us breaking.

He’s in the bedroom. I’m in the office sleeping on the first piece of furniture I ever bought. I look around and am surrounded by old memories, and a computer that could lead me to endless possibilities : writing, job searches, school searches, car reports, new apartments, anything I want or need to get me through this. 

I had a dream last night that I was on the phone with my mother crying about the two of us, and he was in front of me, getting ready to go out for the night. And my mother says to me, “It looks like you’re breaking up.”

I woke up sweating. She was right. Or, I was right for that matter.

He keeps asking me if I’m about to cry when I’m in the middle of a conversation with someone, or just when my nose sniffles after tweezing my eyebrows. No, I’m not about to cry, nor was I crying previously.

Although, sometimes I feel like my heart is unstable. Shaky. Like a little murmur of an earthquake happening inside myself. My world is shifting.