We spend most of our lives turning in tiny circles, around and around like a dog chasing it's tail - trying to find happiness, love, peacefulness and most of all fulfillment.  So why does it seem to always elude us?

We feel it for a fleeting second and then it is gone.  We try to hold onto it but it is more slippery than an underwater eel.  It has an elusive quality to it that we just can't wrap our hands or minds around.

Why is that?

Some say that the world was created this way on purpose.  Why is that? It's kind of like this - if you're always great at everything, if everything comes to you easily and you never have to work at anything, then life would be totally boring and unfulfilling.

We don't think it would be.  We long for this imagined nirvana in which we never have to work again but honest to God, we'd be dead in two days from complete boredom.

You see our true and lasting fulfillment comes from effort - from going against the grain, pushing against what's difficult and doing what seems impossible.

Yikes!

That doesn't match my 'sit-on-a-sandy-beach-in-the-sun' idea of fulfillment.  That's not what I had in mind!

But without that effort, life would be too easy and we'd again be bored to tears.  We'd say to ourselves, (yawn) - "Oh boy another day of Pina Coladas, sun and surf.  Give me some meaty challenge to deal with please!"

Fulfillment comes from doing what we don't want to do - calling my mother when I'd rather turn off the phone, reaching out to a friend when I would prefer to be lounging on the couch and most important of all - really looking inside and changing from the inside out.

Ok ready for some fun?  I'll go first.  Let's make a list together of our worst attributes.  You call that fun?  Not yet but just hang in there ok?

My top three are:

1. 1. Arrogance - too many lifetimes as a haughty queen.
2. 2. Stubborness - my mother found this out when I was only 1 year old.
3. 3. Hardheadedness - I always think I'm right.  Aren't I??

So no slouching now.  It's not enough just to sit and stare at my negative traits, that's not fair.  Get out your pen and start jotting your own top 3 -5 .

Here is your secret doorway to fulfillment.  Each day start changing those horrible, awful and ugly traits into their higher qualities and voila' you will see an amazing change.  Ok I'll go first again.

1. 1. Arrogant - instead of being above people, I have to weather this discomfort of being the same, being alike and joining in.  Eeeek!  But once I do that I get the surprising and hidden benefit of love, caring and belonging.  See what I mean now?
2. 2. Stubborn - instead of always digging my heels in I need to flex, bend and go with the flow.  Super hard for me to do but hey I'm out for more in life.  When I do this, I get the unexpected fulfillment of peacefulness and happiness.
3. 3. Hard headed - I'm not changing this no matter what you say!  Just kidding.  I have to realize that I am not always right and learn to value others opinions, needs and points of view, even if they're wrong.  Just kidding again, but see how hard this is!

Now let me be honest and say that that I don't personally want to give up any of these traits.  Well I do on a 'higher level' but we have to realize that these 'negative' traits are actually easy and comfortable for us.

It is much easier to look down on people than to feel the discomfort of being being part of things and being rejected right?  Get the idea?

Growth which leads to fulfillment is always uncomfortable!

If it's easy, it's not the right path.  Now I'm not talking about needless pain or suffering.  I'm talking about pushing and exerting in a direction that you know you need to change.  Even your mother will agree.

If you don't believe me, and there is no reason that you should, then try this test.  Ask your three best friends and your mother and if you want to amp it up then ask your worst enemy too - say "What are my worst traits that if I changed them, I would be a better person?"

No covering your ears when they reply.  That's cheating too.

Breathe, open your heart, keep your shoulders down, keep your hands loose and smile while you're listening.

Think to yourself, "Ah this is the best thing that I could possibly hear because it is my ticket to freedom."  Picture all of the love, happiness and fulfillment that is going to come streaming in when you do this.

So this is where fulfillment really lives - under the ugly, the uncomfortable and the not-so-lovable parts of ourselves.  They are there for a reason.  Let's go for the gusto and make some change today.  Please feel free to report your efforts.

Yours in always seeking for more and more and more,

Annie