Story of the Miracle Pants 2 - Fashion Fore-Warned

I have very disappointing news folks.  For those of you that read my story about the Miracle Pants that my mother wanted to send me - the heartbreaking news is that they don't come in my size!

 I can hear you all shrieking, "OH NO," right now as I did when I called the company and found out that even though they have petites, they don't have a size 4 which is what I'd need.  They begin at a size 8.  I guess they don't consider that fashion forward women like me can be tiny and on the cutting fashion edge at the same time.   Bummer!

This means that a lot of my Miracle Pants plans have to change.  Here's where I won't be able to do wearing my Miracle Pants:

1. 1. I won't be wearing them to my niece's college graduation, complete with high heeled lavender pumps.  *She is thrilled about this.
2. 2. I won't be co-staring in the next Charlies Angels movie with my flame proof Miracle Pants.  I guess they are going to have to find someone else.
3. 3. I won't be trekking the Great Wall of China in my hiking boots and Miracle Pants.  I'm sure this would have been a first.
4. 4. Saddest of all is that on my next date, whenever that is, I will not be flirting with the love of my life in my Miracle Pants. (sob, sob, sob)

I know you're all saddened to the core about this but don't let it get you down.  The good news is that if you're a size 8 or larger, petite or otherwise - YOU can get the Miracle Pants.  Just email me and I will personally send you an autographed copy of the ad and you can be well on your way to Miracle Pant heaven.

Before I end this sad story however, I know there are a few things that you were wondering about.  You are certainly dying to know which colors I was going to order??  I had picked out sensible black, vibrant violent, charming turquoise and little bunny pink.  All wonderful colors don't you think?

Also you are probably wondering, as my niece was when she said, "Annie what the heck are you going to do in these pants?"   "Sweetie," I answered, "I am going to go on dates, fly to Paris, walk down the street and wear them to your graduation."

She was horrified by all of the above options.  But as I said, unfortunately none of these Miracle Pant adventures will come to fruition, now or ever.  (Sob, sob).  Excuse me I've got to go get a tissue.....

Here's the last thing you were wondering - what else could I have used these pants for?  Well here are some comments from my loyal blog readers about the pants:

"Chuck Norris couldn't rip those pants."

"I bet they ward off wild animals and vampires too."

"You are so funny!  I'm still laughing.  I could use some miracle pants!  Pink and purple would be nice. People will see me coming when I ask them to volunteer."

Well folks in lieu of wearing the miracle pants, I guess I'll have to be adventurous in another way.

You've been fashion fore-warned.  Today go out and get yourself a pair of flame proof pants and live a little dangerously!

Yours in always sharing a side of life that is better kept hidden,

Annie