The Critic, Do You Know Someone Like This??

Yada, yada, yada. Have you had someone looking over your shoulder or speaking into your ear with a tiny megaphone lately?  Anytime you go try something new, bigger, different or change yourself in some way?

This is the voice of your good friend and sabateur, your inner critic.  Hmm, what to do about this?

Years ago, I had a High School grammar teacher, Dr. Falkenstein (pronounced steen, not styn) who told us very clearly that in the realm of grammar there are right ways and wrong ways.  I remember deciding very clearly that I wanted to be on the side of the 'right ways'.  I didn't want to incur Dr. Falkenstein's wrath for one thing.  And no that's not Frankenstein, although she did wear some big tent dresses and an awkward wig that made us wonder what was underneath all that.

Anyway Dr. Falkenstein is a prototype for our typical inner critic.  Know her or him?  The one that taps you on the shoulder on a regular basis and says, "Hey dummy did you know that you're doing that WRONG?"  The word wrong implies that there is a right, right?

Yes if there's a wrong, there's a right and if there's a right there's a left.  I hope you're not getting too confused here but if you are that makes sense because that's really what this inner critic does to us - make us confused!

He or she confuses us out of what we really know to be true! How does she do that so deftly?  Well if you're Dr. Falkenstein or a catholic school nun, you carry a big ruler around in your hand and waft it around while you speak.  The unspoken message of this is, 'You better do what I say believe me or I'll whop you with this.'  That is one very good way to get people to go along with bad and erroneous ideas. 

Another way the critic does this is to say, "Well everyone else....."  You know that line?  Implying that you are the only one stupid enough to do it your way.

I remember one time in college I was taking a boring ceramics class.  The teacher said, "Today we're going to make 6 mugs exactly alike."  Naturally I said to myself, "I don't want to make 6 mugs exactly alike.  If I wanted six of the same mugs, I could go to a department store and buy them."

This bit of different thinking was not appreciated by my wise teacher who shunned me, but thank God he left me to my own devices while I created ONE single spectacular completely original mug.  After I was done he reluctantly admitted that it was pretty cool.  But had a critique process been part of the class, I would have been dead in the water guaranteed!  They would have singled out everything that I did WRONG!

So here's the thing, as my favorite writer of all times Brenda Ueland says, "Thumb your nose at all critics, jeerers and know-it-alls, at least once a day.  Brenda who was a pip of a writer, wrote a book called, "If You Want to Write" and she speaks about the importance of following your creative spirit.

We all know this!  So why don't we do it?

Because you probably just need to sit down and listen to the Dr. Falkenstein know-it-all-advisor in your own head and hear what she has to say.  Then say to her, "Fabulous!!  Thanks for the advice."  But keep on writing or doing whatever it is that you really want to do.

Dr. Falkenstein is no longer with us and I often wonder if she ever published her novel?  Did she write the erotic love poems that were pent up inside of her (I'm just making that up).  And most importantly did she eat good dark chocolate every day (like I do)?

The real question is - did Dr. Falkenstein (not styne) thumb her nose at the critics, or did she go to her grave with all of her rules?  I hope it was the later.  (that's pronounced latt-er, like in latte).

But Dr. F. did teach me one very important rule that I will pass onto you.  Next time you go to the gas station, do not say "Fill it up."

Why not?  Because "up" is a syntactical redundence.  Aren't you amazed that I remember that word after all these years?  Since you can't fill something 'down' you don't need to use the word 'up.'  Got it?

So folks, impress your friends and your gas station attendant by only saying, "Fill it please."  Then go home and break some rules- in your writing, your blogging, your speaking or anything else that tickles your fancy.  You don't want to die with those rules wrapped around your neck do you?

NO you don't!

Today take a chance, risk, be silly and let that inner critic find someone else to pick on.

Yours in always sharing the biggest juiciest endeavors life has to offer,

Annie