Putting myself first! Well, maybe.

Has it really been that long since I've blogged here on a regualr basis?  Life got crazy and I did the thing I always do when there's a lot on my plate, I shoved myself clear off of it.

Writing is always something that comes and goes with me.  Once I've hit the wall and realize that I'm neglecting myself, I fight to give myself a little priority.  Right now the mommy side of me is saying, just wait till the kids are back in school... Just wait for two more weeks.  But that other part of me, the one that wants the beautifully tattered angel wings tatted down my back, and wants to call up that girl so she can put some chunky purple highlights in is bouncing of the walls like an addicit needing a fix.  The desperation is palpable now.  I've neglected myself far too long.  I've got to start doing some of the things I want to do for myself before I crack.  So here I am, being a tad melodramatic, though totally honest.  Here I am like Stella, looking to get my grove back.  Letting my mind wander and letting my fingers do their little tap dance. 

Wondering why I always find an excuse to put myself last.  Wondering if maybe this feeling of desperation and the need to flee are due to the kids being on vacation and not giving me a moment all to myself.  I can't even remember the last time I was able to take a shower without  one of them barging into my bedroom to ask for something.  Wondering if this is the bottom and I'm on my way back up. 

Wondering all kinds of things buy mostly just glad to see my fingers fly across the keys, and hoping that this tiny little post in only the first in a steady stream.