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viewsSkirt! Team Challenge: Mind ~ Body ~ Spirit: "Success II"
By andibooher, Monday, January 24, 2011, 8 commentsFor those of you who have followed me from day one here at Skirt! You may remember my first post, “Success is a 95’ Thunderbird” http://skirt.com/andibooher/blog/success-95-ford-thunderbird. It was a post about looking at my life and finding success in things other than what the media or commercials tells me are successes. It was about sitting back and looking at my life, applying the brakes where needed (money spending and eating) and jumping into things that bring me personal success. And so, I’m trying to apply that same theory to my life right now. See, I’m getting ready to post that I’ve gained +0.2 lbs this week and I’m trying to figure out what is happening.
For me there is a fine balance that I must find to lose weight. Stress affects my mind, my body, and my spirit in inexplicable ways. So, I’m doing a little searching within myself to find out why I’m having so much trouble losing weight. I know, I know, 0.2lbs isn’t much in the scheme of things but in my world it’s like a great red beacon flashing and preparing to blast off a monster alarm. See, I’ve mostly been following my good health guidelines. I’ve mostly been taking care of my exercise…I never know what to do with my spirit but that’s a battle that can’t be fought in only three months of challenges. But, weight loss, that’s easy. I know what I need to do. I’ve done it before. I’m within sight of my final goal! So, why am I failing and am I really failing?
The answer is yes…and no. I am failing myself but not in the way that you think – not because I’m gaining weight again but because weight loss isn’t only about food and exercise. In fact, I’ve already learned this lesson. I learned it with my Thunderbird when the stress of money and life and being unfulfilled made me stop everything and take stock of my life. And, guess what? I lost weight when I took stock of my life. So, I should know that sometimes weight gain is more about being unhappy than it is about physical food. Heck, most of us know this, it’s a no brainer. But how do you fix it? That’s the hard part. And this is how I’ve failed myself. In all my success I failed to stay aware of myself. I was on this huge kick of saying, “Yes”. “Yes, I’ll try something new. Yes, I’ll break out of my old routine! Yes I’ll commit to doing X even though I don’t really have time.” In all these successes I failed to weigh the cost to myself.
I thought I’d done all the hard work that needed to be done. I’d climbed up the biggest hills by learning what it is to be unhappy, to be broke, and to be unhealthy. I thought it was safe to do some coasting on my success and in the process I failed to look around to see what was coming around the bend. I failed to pay attention to times when it was ok to say, “No”. I overloaded myself and started falling into bad habits again. I was ignoring that little voice within myself that says, “I’m not happy.” I was spending money on junk and trinkets that don’t mean a hill of beans when it comes to real happiness. Worst of all, I started to use food to fill an ach I didn’t want to admit to. In essence, I lost sight of me.
So I stopped. This weekend I put a halt to everything. It was a luxury I couldn’t afford NOT to take. My one body, my one life, my one future deserves all the attention I can give it. Besides, some lessons are important enough that we need to learn them over and over. This was my lesson; Success for me is being able to tell the difference between a want and a need; Success is about knowing the difference between being bored and being sad; success is about distinguishing between a temporary distraction and long term happiness. So, have I really failed myself? No, I’ve just learned another valuable lesson in life. And that my friends can be accounted as a success.
Personal Statistics 1-3-2011 1-9-2011 1-17-2011 1.24.2011
Height: 5’4” - - - - - -
Weight: 162.6 161.00 161.00 161.20
BMI: 27.9 27.6 27.6 27.7
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8 Comments
That's great that you took
That's great that you took some much needed time for yourself this weekend:-) And, although it is wonderful to be open to new opportunities, and to say "yes" more often, you're right that it's also important to balance all of the "yes's" with a few "no's" every now and then. We all need those boundaries to take care of ourselves. And in truth, a "no" isn't really a "no"--sometimes we have to say "no" to some things in order to say "yes" to ourselves. Sef-care is so important, and I'm glad to hear that you are taking care of yourself:-)
xoxo Kimberly
Thanks Kimberly
Thanks Kimberly. You and the girls of "Writers Anon" are always a wonderful help to me in both mind and spirit.
And, yes, "No" can be hugely powerful...Lesson #2 :)
I'm glad you took a step back
I think so many of us strugge with losing weight because we put SO much stock in that little number flashing on the scale. But it rarely ever gives us a gage of our truth health and happiness. I went almost a full year last year without stepping on a scale. And I actually maintained my weight from the beginning of last year to the beginning of this year. Not that there weren't fluctuations of course, but I chose to focus on how I felt as opposed to the number. I can tell when I'm not feeding my body the way it needs because I don't feel as good. And I can tell when I'm getting a little crazy with the portions or "treats" when my jeans get tight. The best thing I ever did was to start listening to the body I was trying so hard to change.
Thanks for this!
I'm really looking forward to stepping away from the scale, as you've said, but I personally need to hit my goal of being at a normal BMI. My promised to myself is to at least experience it. Give my body time to really feel the difference. And ask myself, do I feel better? Worse? Once I decide how my body feels at "normal", then I'll make a decision if I want to live there or not. I agree with you though, we do get stuck on what the scale says.
Thank you for your kind support and ideas...I'm hoping to be able to try your way soon.
Andi- I am so glad to find
Andi- I am so glad to find your post her this evening because I have had you on my mind this week, so regardless that I did nothing to call out to you, know I had you on my heart. As far as the blog, gosh, you grasp so much here, it is hard to take it all in. As far as attitude goes, I think you are focusing on the whole forest not the trees, and that is always GOOD!
From a purely practical standpoint, you know weight gain is not necessarily fat gain or anything bad. So, give yourself a break over that number thing, and you might need to get rid of the "pressure" of the scales. Maybe skip weighing for a few weeks.I also think happiness and sadness have an ebb and a flow, and to try to lose weight and put pressure in yourself if you are not at the right place internally just adds more pressure.
I hear in your words a little of that "beat up myself" voice I recognize similar to my own. When I was little, my parents never had to punish me much. I usually beat myself up more than anybody else would...Still do, I suppose. It would be so much easier if we could learn a lesson and than get onto something else, rather than it being like Groundhog's Day, the same damn lesson over and over! LOL
Success isn't necessarily reaching that number goal if you are stressing about it. You will get there, I KNOW YOU WILL, but it might take time- a luxury you can afford, right? I am SO PROUD of you for realizing what you needed to do- that is tremendous! And I bet when you started this journey of transformation, you didn't know that. You are progressing just where you need to be and don't worry about that sacle!!!
Giving myself a little itsy bitsy break
Susan,
Thank you. Believe it or not, my post was about giving myself just the smallest of breaks. Only a small one though because I've given myself way too much leeway the last few weeks. Especially the weeks before our challenge began. See, before the challenge I gained back almost 20lbs of the weight I'd lost! Yikes! But I'm ok. I just needed a good old dose of earth to Andrea!
But, you're right. Just because the scale moves upwards (especially at only .2) it doesn't mean the world is coming to an end. I'm just being super careful not to lose all of the hard won forward momentum I've achieved in the last year.
I'm laughing about the beating yourself up thing...my mom always said of me that she never had to punish me. She'd just point out what I'd done wrong then sit back and let me do the rest. We're a funny bunch, us humans.
Mostly, I want to thank you. You're last line is one that I have a hard time with but need reminding of often. "You are progressing just where you need to be and don't worry about that sacle!!!" Yes, everyone progresses differently and at their own pace. And, yes, YES, I can't hurry along my own process. Thank you, this was especially meaningful to me. It was one of those little unexpected gems that means more to me than you could ever know. Thank you.
Andi- I am just so glad we
Andi- I am just so glad we can be there to encourage each other. I feellike we are all going to get there together! I hit my lowest weight maybe 1 1/2 to 2 years ago, via weight Watchers, and have been slowly inching up, also about 20 lbs from my lowest point. I fell apart this year...So yea, I am getting back and I want to see those numbers move down, too. I know how good I feel when I am doing the right thing...
No doubts!
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