Today my 5 year old crossed one of those thresholds.  We were talking about something - the topic has fled my memory, erased from my brain by what followed, when he said,

"Let's get the bastard!"

I do remember that the comment had nothing to do with the conversation.  He was grinning and waving as he said it, and he clearly had no clue what it meant.  But his sister and brother, sitting in the next room, heard his words, and both of them audibly gasped.  Little mister smart mouth got a stern talking to - and yes, this is another bad mom chronicle - some soap in the mouth.

I found big brother looking up the word "bastard" in the dictionary, and I asked if he understood what it meant.  Nope.  Dictionaries lack any sense of judgment, their dry and technical definitions suck all the excitement and drama and glamour out of bad words.  So I sat with older sister and brother and explained the word, explained why it was offensive and sternly warned them against using it.  They seemed serious and interested.  I gave a "G-rated" version of the discussion to mister smart mouth, who laughed and joked about cartoons.

When I relayed the incident to my husband (who, if he were smaller, might benefit from some soap in the mouth from time to time), he said,

"I don't know why that's considered a bad word.  Y'know, it's really no different calling someone a 'bastard' than calling a woman a 'bitch'.  I mean, it's better than throwing a shoe at them - in some countries that's a real insult."  When he said the word "bitch" my hackles went up.  The woman in me who attended six years' of an all-girls high school wanted to tell him you can't just call a woman a bitch, that's so incredibly offensive, I can't believe you would even think that it could be acceptable.  But we weren't having an argument about the B word, we were discussing mister smart mouth's smart mouth.

But the incident, and the discussions that followed, made me wonder, why are some words so fraught with emotion?  Why do they have such power?  The meaning and the power of words changes over time and across cultures.  George Carlin, in a wonderful monologue, once said, "We're gonna snatch that pussy and put him in a box" to show how potentially offensive words could be strung together to make a sentence suitable for a Disney movie.  Maybe George's point remains relevant.  We should remember that the definitions and the rules about inappropriate words can change over time.  Sometimes, our reaction to those words is silly.

I'm going to try to remember that next time someone calls me a bitch.  But - a word of warning to anyone considering it - I'll be packing soap!